The Twenty Best Quotes of CPAC 2014

20) The president graduated from one of the best schools in the country. If I were him, I’d consider suing Harvard Law School to get his money back because I’m not sure what he learned in three years. — Bobby Jindal

19) Crossroads, what a disaster. Hundreds of millions of dollars wasted and no one is held responsible….people ought to be asking, ‘What are you in business for?’ — Pat Caddell

18) It’s time for the government to scale back, not for people of faith to scale back! — Mike Huckabee

17) It’s not like illegal immigrants didn’t know what they were doing was wrong. — Ann Coulter

16) The tax code is 10 times the size of the Bible with none of the good news. — Paul Ryan

15) If you rent a U-Haul to move your company, it costs twice as much to go from San Francisco to Austin than the other way around, because you can’t find enough trucks to leave the Golden State. — Rick Perry

14) To President Carter, I want to issue a sincere apology. It is no longer fair to say he was the worst president of this great country in my lifetime. President Obama has proven me wrong. — Bobby Jindal

13) They couldn’t vote for Barack Obama, but they couldn’t vote for us, because they didn’t think we cared. So they stayed home. — Rick Santorum

12) My favorite network for humor is MSNBC. They’re always sneering, demographics are changing. No this isn’t a natural process. It’s like you’re being raped and the guy is telling you ‘my penis is in you.’ No, you’re raping me. Demographics are changing by force. There is nothing natural about it. — Ann Coulter

11) For all those House members who claim to want an investigation into the deaths of four Americans, while Obama slept and while those lying talking points were being crafted, if you were to march the leadership … John Boehner, Eric Cantor, Cathy McMorris Rogers, and Kevin McCarthy into a room, close the door and tell them ‘Investigate today, or tomorrow we will vote you out of leadership’ … it would be done. But there is not the will in Washington, even among those House members, to make this happen. — Pat Caddell

10) Mr. President, the only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good guy with a nuke. — Sarah Palin

9) We respect women and don’t insult them by saying all they care about is reproductive rights. All issues are women’s issues.” — Carly Fiorina

8) There’s no free ride. Someone always pays and if you don’t know who that someone is, it’s probably you. — Sarah Palin

7) If Greece could print money, they wouldn’t be in trouble either. — Ben Carson

6) If you vote for candidates who think it’s the role of the state to provide health care, don’t complain when your hospitals are as badly run as everything else run by the state. — Daniel Hannan

5) We don’t need a head of state who guts our defenses and draws phony red lines with a pink crayon. — Oliver North

4) I’m probably being too hard on the President (over Ukraine). After all, who could have seen this coming. — Sarah Palin

3) If this nation forgets our God, then God will have every right to forget us. — Mike Huckabee

2) If you have a cell phone, you are under surveillance. I believe what you do on your cell phone is none of their damn business. — Rand Paul

1) I do not like this Uncle Sam. I do not like his health care scam. I do not like — oh, just you wait — I do not like these dirty crooks, or how they lie and cook the books. I do not like when Congress steals, I do not like their crony deals. I do not like this spying, man, I do not like, ‘Oh, Yes we can.’ I do not like this spending spree, we’re smart, we know there’s nothing free. I do not like reporters’ smug replies when I complain about their lies. I do not like this kind of hope, and we won’t take it, nope, nope, nope. — Sarah Palin

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