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RWN’s Favorite Quotes From Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Written By : John Hawkins
June 18, 2008

My favorite quotations from one of my favorite shows, “Aqua Teen Hunger Force.”

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“If you need anything, you know who to look to – someone else.” — Carl

Okay, I’m sorry, Candy. I guess we’re not in America. I guess now, I’m not allowed to pay for sex with pennies.” — Carl

Delivery Man: It’s, uh, $7.92.
Carl: Yeah, here’s eight dollars, and, uh, keep it.
Delivery Man: All of it? I don’t know if the bank will take all this.
Carl: Hey, man, the night’s young. Knock off for a bit. Let’s party!
Delivery Man: Oh, no thanks. This is gonna take me all night to count.

You got three raw chickens in here on the (Kitchen) floor! A dog wouldn’t even take a crap in here! — Frylock

Frylock: What’s your point?
Master Shake: I never had one. And that just drives you crazy, doesn’t it?

Frylock: That’s not a toy!

Master Shake: You say that about everything you own. You should own toys. They’re fun.

Frylock He’s dead.
Oglethorpe: IMPOSSIBLE!!! The Remonster can only be killed by stabbing him in the heart with the ancient bone saber of Zumakalis!
Emory: Or probably his head or lungs too, just stab him wherever, really.
Oglethorpe: And the saber probably doesn’t have to be bone.
Emory: Yeah, really, just like anything sharp just laying around the house.
Oglethorpe: You could poke him with a pillow and kill him.

Frylock: Oh my God! What are those, piranhas?
Carl: Oh, yeah. I mean, Shake is in there, too. You can’t see him cause he’s in the piranhas. But, you know –
Frylock: What?! Shake!
Carl: No, no, no, Fryman! Back off. Them fish are still alive. They’re just sort of, you know, tired, from all them sleeping pills Shake swallowed. Hey, did he wanna kill himself?

Frylock: Did you even read the training manual?
Shake: The only thing I read are the zeroes on my paycheck

Ignignokt: Emory and Oglethrope?
Err: [starts laughing]
Ignignokt: “Were not invited” is the end of that sentence.
Err: D*mn straight. Put a period on that.

We forgot all about your needs, we were too busy fulfilling our own. — Ignignokt

Ignignokt: We didn’t have fathers growing up.
Frylock: You didn’t have a father?
Err: No.
Frylock: I mean, that’s…actually kind of sad.
Ignignokt: I never learned how to steal or fight or drink the right way.

Look, yes, I have banged hundreds of broads, internationally, but know this, I wrap my rascal TWO times cause I like it to be joyless and without sensation, as a way of punishing supermodels. — Master Shake

Someone stole my PDA, and I will ruin this house with my anger! — Master Shake

Plaque is a figment of the liberal media and the dental industry to scare you into buying useless appliances and pastes. Now, I’ve heard the arguments on both sides, and there is nothing to convince me of the need to brush your teeth. — Master Shake

We don’t need a toilet. The pile of clothes in the hallway has worked fine for us for years, and it will continue to work. — Master Shake

If I woke up looking like that, I would run towards the nearest living thing and kill it. — Master Shake

Master Shake: Where do you two thing you’re going?
Frylock: Wherever the hell we want.
Master Shake: Not without me!
Meatwad: We’re going to see Little Brittle at the old folks home.
Master Shake: Go without me!

You know you’re like the A-bomb, everyone’s laughing having a good time and you show up BOOM! Everything’s dead! — Master Shake

Master Shake: Somebody’s a little bi-curious!
Meatwad: I ain’t no bi-curious. I’m a man’s man!
Master Shake: Not anymore! I’ve planted the seed of doubt!
Meatwad: You don’t say that! I’m a man, and you…if you need me, I’m gonna be in the garage…[in a deeper voice] hangin’ sheet rock, ’round an engine I’m rebuilding.
Master Shake: Look at the way he rolls…
Meatwad: WHERE’S MY CHEWIN’ TOBACCO?!!
Master Shake: …just like a woman!

Master Shake: Someone wants a knife fight. Someone I’m looking at.
Frylock: You sincerely mean that.
Master Shake: Maybe I do. I just don’t like the way you boss me.

Master Shake: But you can make and receive cellular calls with this! Give it to him!
Boost Mobile Phone: Where you at, dog?
Master Shake: See?
Carl: I’m on my land. We’re both in America, which used to be a good country, until they started lettin’ people like you do whatever you want.
Boost Mobile Phone: Hey dog, where you at?
Master Shake: See?
Carl: See this!
Carl: This line, here? Line of Death. You cross it, and your freedoms no longer exist. Um-kay? Have a good day.

Master Shake: I’m not in the business of seeing whatever pleases you!

Meatwad: Well I’m in business.
[under his breath]
Meatwad: Business of kicking your *ss, and let me tell ya, business is booming. I’m open for business, business of giving you the business… up your butt.

Meatwad: [Meatwad looks and sees Master Shake with a baseball bat] Did you hear me say that?

Master Shake: You looking to expand your business?

Meatwad: [runs away] Business is closed!

Remove the chain. Cause that was off it. — Meatwad

Meatwad: D*mn! Did you just see that?!
Master Shake: I’m not in the business of seeing whatever pleases you.

“I just laid a thousand of my eggs inside his esophagus. You know, I need to propagate my species and, he’s being a baby about it.” — Mothmonsterman

Oglethorpe: You might be interested to know that we are just about to destroy your planet!
Master Shake: Oh, go ahead, I’m not there, ah, it’s fine.

Tammy Tangerine: I’m sorry, Bert.
Bert Banana: Yes, you are…a sorry sack of tangerine b*tch.

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