Jennifer Love Hewitt? Fat Or Hot?

To be honest, I seldom watch the cable news shows anymore because they’re too slow compared to the blogosphere. Usually, these shows mainly consist of the hot story of the day repeated ad nauseum, material the blogosphere covered days earlier, guests spinning and being asked questions primarily designed not to allow them to inform, but to trip them up, and fluff like the hot, white chick of the day who has been kidnapped.

That really is only tangentially related to this post, which engages in some of the same sins that the cable networks normally do, but I felt the need to vent. In any case, the point was that someone told me one of the hot stories recently was Jennifer Love Hewitt and her “fat” pictures.

Which fat pictures you ask? Don’t you want to ask that? Because if you do ask that, it means I get to show you her bikini shots — and not for a prurient reason, because she’s hot, but because it’s news!

So, since you asked, wink, wink, here are the shots that have prompted people to call Jennifer Love Hewitt fat, courtesy of Egotastic!,

Jennifer Love Hewitt bikini

Jennifer Love Hewitt bikini

Is Jennifer Love Hewitt fat? Only by the unrealistic standards of bony fashion models who look like they might eat half a finger sandwich every 3 or 4 days — which is pretty much the point that Hewitt made,

“A size 2 is not fat! Nor will it ever be. And being a size 0 doesn’t make you beautiful. …

Agreed. In fact, do you want to know a little secret? Although some ultra skinny women can pull off that look, most men would far prefer a woman who looks like Hewitt to a twin of hers, who was say, 25 pounds lighter and flatter.

But really, these unrealistic standards of beauty have become pretty commonplace. For example, not too long ago, Maxim put out a list of the Five Unsexiest Women Alive that included, among others, I kid you not, Britney Spears, Amy Winehouse, & Sarah Jessica Parker.

If that’s your idea of hideously ugly then well…Ok, let’s be honest, it isn’t your idea of hideously ugly. That’s just something internet dorks pop off about because no one in real life would ever sit around with their buddies at work, telling them that the girl in the next cubicle, who looks exactly like Britney Spears, is some sort of hideous cow — or would they?

Which brings me to a theory I have about the internet becoming a major factor in the decline of birthrates in the West. Let me explain.

Imagine that you were alive a couple of hundred years ago. There was no TV back then, no internet, no glossy women’s mags, no Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, nothing. There were also no cars or airplanes, which meant that it was much more difficult to travel.

Long story short, the average man or woman got to see, meet, and talk to, at least compared to today, a very small number of people. Because of that, it was much easier, again comparatively, for someone to be considered a knockout, an incredible conversationalist, or a potentially suitable mate, because the pool of talent was so much smaller.

But today, people aren’t just competing with the people in their town, they’re competing in looks and personality with movie stars, super models, and winners from all across the country.

When a man thinks to himself, “Is she attractive,” he’s not just comparing the woman in question to people that live in his town, he’s comparing her to Mariah Carey, Natalie Portman, the hot model he saw in a toothpaste commercial, and every other woman he finds attractive.

When a woman thinks to herself, “Does he have a great personality,” she’s not just comparing him to people that live in her town, she’s comparing him to her favorite TV star and the guy she has been talking to from across the country on instant messenger.

All this leads to is unrealistic expectations, declining birthrates, and people calling Jennifer Love Hewitt fat — at least that’s my theory.

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