Introducing The Acme Chastity Belt: Are you a practicing Catholic with children? Do you want your children to grow up with the benefits of a strong, lasting, faith that can comfort them in times of trial and yet do you fear that your children will be pawed like a cheap hooker by your priest? Have you noticed that your priest’s gaze seems to “linger” a little bit too long on the kids? Has your priest been moved to three different churches in the last four years because of “personal reasons”? (Cont)