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Heartache: White House Won’t Support Petition To Build A Death Star

Written By : William Teach
January 12, 2013

Total joy kill

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(US News ) A “Death Star” won’t be a part of the U.S. military’s arsenal any time soon.

More than 34,000 people have signed an online petition calling on the Obama administration to build the “Star Wars” inspired super-weapon to spur job growth and bolster national defense.

But in a posting Friday on the White House website, Paul Shawcross, an administration adviser on science and space, says a Death Star would cost too much to build – an estimated $850 quadrillion – at a time the White House is working to reduce the federal budget.

Well, it would be kind of expensive. Anyone who’s a total Star Wars geek (that’s me) knows that simply building a Star Destroyer used up the entire economic output of a star system. Building a Death Star destroyed the economies of many, many, many star systems. The response also points out that

Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

Why can’t we fix the flaw? That’s what they did for the second Death Star.

Anyhow, it is a rather amusing response, entitled “This Isn’t the Petition Response You’re Looking For”. But still doesn’t get us a Death Star, which could be used to cross the galaxy (and conquer other star systems).

Along the way, the White House also shot down petitions for secession.

Crossed at Pirate’s Cove. Follow me on Twitter @WilliamTeach.

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