Fisking John Kerry In GQ

18 Aug, 2004 by John Hawkins

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Here are a few things that sprang to mind (in italics) as I read a puff piece about John Kerry that was based on his comments to GQ…

“Democratic presidential contender John Kerry (news – web sites) has a soft spot for South African actress Charlize Theron but is adamant that second wife Teresa Heinz-Kerry changed his life, he has told GQ magazine.

Theron is rich, but not that rich…

The men’s magazine questioned Kerry, who he thought was the sexiest actress of all time, and he replied: “I think Charlize Theron is pretty extraordinary … Catherine Zeta Jones … and Marilyn Monroe … I thought she was funny. Complicated. And obviously very attractive, very beautiful.”

But the 60-year-old Massachusetts senator saved his highest praise for his heiress wife in the interview released in the September edition of GQ.

“Complicated”, “attractive”, and “very beautiful” are all nice, but they don’t pay for butlers and vacation houses if you know what I mean…

He said being a bachelor senator in Washington after the breakup of his first marriage was not “good days”.

I was eating out of the garbage behind the Capitol Building without a rich sugar mama to pay the bills…

“After my first marriage, I was like a lot of people who had a relationship that doesn’t work — you want to make sure that the next one does. And you’re a little gun-shy and apprehensive and nervous. And Teresa gave me a sense of confidence about relationships that filled that.

“I’m confident about a lot of things, but I’m not somebody who’s blind to human frailty and to the need for humility. We all have our flaws. And Teresa, you know, gave me just a great sort of strong, clear commitment to who I am.

“So you know, she loved me. And I think that kind of love is very compelling.”

And we’re talking about really compelling here, not like stories that are “seared into your brain” compelling that later turn out to be completely made up.

Kerry said he liked the music of the Rolling Stones, the Beatles and Bob Dylan and named ice hockey star Wayne Gretzky, baseball legend Joe DiMaggio and cyclists Greg LeMond and Lance Armstrong among his sporting heroes.

His greatest sporting moment was scoring a hat-trick for Yale against Harvard in a soccer match. “I think I got down on my knees and hit the ground,” he said.

Wayne Gretzky, cycling, & soccer? I thought he was just supposed to be “French looking,” not actually French?

Kerry also spoke about overcoming prostate cancer — he was operated on in 2002 a few months before announcing his presidential run.

“There’s not much that scares me. So I’m not worried about things — certainly not dying, because too many of my friends did. So I think it empowers you to go out and tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may.”

Of course, all of that empowering truth telling and chip falling doesn’t start until the election is over. Until then I’m going by the old “I don’t own an SUV, the family has it” standard”.

Of his feelings for President George W. Bush (news – web sites) and his family’s political dynasty, Kerry said: “I like Junior, but I like the senior Bush enormously. A very decent, thoughtful guy. And I have great respect for him.”

Gee, and I remember when Kerry was referring to the Bush & company as” the most crooked, you know, lying group I’ve ever seen”. I would call that a flip-flop, but maybe Kerry is just fond of crooked liars, you never know =D.“