Oh my god what a fool I was. Yes, I realized this just lately, although I had my doubts but I was blinded by some facts and now thanks to some good friends of the Iraqi people, I’ve opened my eyes to see the naked truth.
For the 1st time I realize what a big lie I’ve been living in for the last 9 months and the worst thing is that it was me who made that lie and believed it so much that I accepted no other opinion. The whole world was telling me to wake up and get real, have some brains and try to find the truth. They offered me several pieces of evidence that left no doubt that I was living a lie, but I was so stubborn and I apologize for it. For 9 months I’ve thought that things were OK, that America did the right thing, we got rid of S.H. and his killing machine, that I’m happy, free and dreaming of a better future.
Thanks to all the true friends of the Iraqi people, I began to have some doubts and began asking myself real questions and day by day my doubts grew bigger and bigger then I tried to do what I was afraid of during these 9 months. I decided to re-evaluate everything I see and compare it with what it was before the war.
So, one morning I walked down the streets as usual heading to the hospital where I work, but this time my eyes were open and I was very attentive to all that surrounds me:
- The 1st thing that struck me was that all the pictures of Saddam were gone. Now, of course I’ve noticed that before but, I didn’t think about it seriously. I mean NOBODY asked me whether I liked it or not and besides who did this? Was it the Iraqi people? Impossible, Iraqis loved Saddam (the whole media can’t lie). Was it the Americans? I think if they had spent their time removing his pictures they would’ve been in Nasiriyah right now. So I came to the conclusion that there must be a conspiracy behind this, and don’t ask me what conspiracy and who conspired and why, it’s a conspiracy and that’s it.
- The second thing that annoyed me was that NO policeman or security guard or American soldier bothered to ask me where I was heading, where I came from, or even for an I.D. I checked my wallet and I found that I wasn’t carrying any, and in fact I haven’t carried an I.D. since the 9th of April, while prior to that I used to carry 2 or 3 I.D. cards (including the military service certificate) and still I would check my wallet every now and then to make sure that I haven’t forgot or lost any on the road. I mean seriously what is a man without an I.D.?
- Another distressing incident came as I went to buy a newspaper, I found dozens of strange Iraqi newspapers and magazines and more foreign ones (the total number of Iraqi newspapers till now is 132) instead of the 10 that were all owned by the government before the war, and I said ”what a mess! Who am I supposed to believe now? How can I tell which one of these is telling the truth?” And only for my further disappointment I read a title of the new Iraqi army celebrating the graduation of 700 volunteers! Now what? Aren’t we going to fight anymore (I mean a real war)? What a waste! We had only the chance to go through 3 major wars in the last 23 years and there are still many enemies that we haven’t taught a lesson yet.
- Another depressing bit of news was that there will be no more public executions, what am I talking about, there will be no executions at all, can you believe it? There is no more action or amusement!
- Finally I got to work and there I didn’t find a large difference although I missed those sensational moments when a child dies simply due to the lack of cheap medications, his mother cries, and the reporters from all over the world who were always around would rush in to get a good shot and make a smashing report about the effects of the sanctions. Things are now very boring, we just treat people and a lot of them even get well!
- Then a friend of mine told me that it was payment day and when I got my salary, they gave me these strange banknotes with no pictures of any Iraqi president. I remember well, and I said it here before, that my salary was around 17$ a month before the war. This time they gave me 200 thousand Iraqi Dinars which if divided by the current exchange rate (which is now 1330 ID for each US$) will be about 150$ and what was worse is that they confirmed a raise has been approved to make that 300$ starting from the next month with possible raises in the future. And I saw clearly what that meant; they are bribing us! Yes, I’m not an idiot! They’re going to steal our oil and they can say they’re giving the money back to us and that they even assigned billions of dollars to build Iraq and push many countries to cut down the Iraqi debts, but WE are still the ones who are going to lose, and don’t ask me how, because I’ll be damned if I know the answer.
- On the other hand before the war, Saddam gave us nearly nothing at even better times than these. Still he didn’t steal the oil, he kept the funds safe in his pocket. And what if he used some so he and his family could enjoy themselves? It’s his right by birth. And what if he gave some gifts to the good friends of the Iraqi people like George Galloway, Bernard Merimee or Jackie... Oops, sorry, the last one is just a rumor.
- And more and more, the long lines at the gas stations, the high prices for kerosene are all gone and back to normal, and the only things that were left to remind us of the (good old days) were the ruins and garbage here and there. But they were also (sadly) being, although slowly, removed and rebuilt. But then I heard an explosion and gave a sigh of relief and thanked my Muslim brothers, “at last, a sound from the past”!
What an ignorant person I was to think that it was OK and again thank you CNN, BBC, Al-Jazeera, Mr. Dean, Mr. Chirac and our dear Arab and Muslim leaders for showing me the truth. And I’m not talking about the silly things I have mentioned. I’m talking about the most important fact:
You made me realize that freedom doesn’t worth waiting for hours to get 5 gallons of gasoline, and 10 hours of power shortage a day (even if it was temporary). In fact, you showed me that freedom means NOTHING to me. Thank you for showing me that I was born to be a slave and that I enjoyed getting down on my knees in front of my master whoever he was (and there was no one better than Saddam to bow to). I loved kissing the ground he walks on, and I adored his way of insulting, raping, torturing and killing Iraqis everyday.
A friend has asked me never to use the 4 letter word (and it’s not my style to do so), sorry Scott, but I can’t help not saying For all those who tried to show me how I should feel: Even if I was wrong (and I'm sure I'm not) to hell with oil, to hell with power supply and F***YOU ALL. GWB MADE THE RIGHT DECISION AND AMERICA DID THE RIGHT THING AND WE ARE FREEEEEEEEEE!
If you enjoyed this column by Omar, you can read more of his work at Iraq The Model.
