A Short, Obligatory Post On The Bristol Palin/Levi Johnston Engagement

15 Jul, 2010 by John Hawkins

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So, Levi Johnston splits with Bristol Palin, makes a name for himself by lying about her family to the press, doesn’t pay child support, and now they’re engaged? How did this happen? Did Levi find a lamp, rub it, have a genie pop out, and then ask for Bristol to fall in love with him again as his first wish?

Moreover, can you imagine Todd and Sarah’s reaction when Bristol walked in, probably with Levi beside her and said, “So, have you seen the cover of Us Weekly? If not, I have some really EXCITING news for you.” Then Sarah probably said something like, “Bristol, honey, haven’t we discussed the fact that Levi is not allowed in the house,” Bristol told them they were getting engaged, and Todd asked if they could give him a few minutes alone to commit Seppuku on some moose antlers in shame for doing such a poor job as a parent.

So, we have a 19 year old girl marrying a world class douchebag who’s famous for knocking her up and then lying about her parents to the press. If that doesn’t have “successful marriage” written all over it, I don’t know what marriage does. I really wonder if Bristol has any friends who think this is a good idea. You can be sure her parents don’t, but 19 year old girls, being 19 year old girls don’t generally listen to their parents very well. Besides, Sarah can give her 1,000 reasons why she’s making a mistake and the response back every time will be, “But, mama, I’m in luuuuuuvvvvv!”

Still, maybe I’m too cynical in thinking this is the most obvious trainwreck since Dennis Rodman married Carmen Electra. So, let’s see what RWN’s readers think:

Update #1: There’s a tech issue with the poll. Had to yank it. Temporary perils of switching over to a new host and all.