The average college sex columnist is so mind-bogglingly stupid, even The Onion parodied one.

They were also the subject of my Townhall column today.

But rumor has it that my old college paper, The Post, wants to hire one anyway.

Why do I complain? First, these columns are overwhelmingly written by raunchy exhibitionist hags who think they're Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & The City. I hated that show. Not for the content, but for the way girls tried to imitate the characters--right down to the slang, the clothes, and, apparently, writing a ludicrous "sex column." (The fact that the most infamous college sex columnist, Lena Chen, named her column "Sex & The Ivy" proves how wildly original they are.)

These columnists usually have nothing interesting whatsoever to say, but still think they're being so awesomely bold and daring for prattling about their vibrator use.

News flash: nobody cares.

What's so daring about discussing condoms and lingerie on a college campus, really? I'd love to see these wannabe iconoclasts do something actually shocking, something that might be met with social disapproval on campus. But then if you really were so bold and individualistic, you wouldn't be modeling your personality and lifestyle after a fictional TV character, would you?

Get real. Katie Collins from CBLPI is a more original thinker than you are.