From the New York Times, this headline: "U.S. Economy Shrank Less Than Expected in Quarter".

Here is the content of the article: Things are so much better than expected, blah, blah, blah. Economists agree, blah, blah, blah. Advisers close to President Obama are cautiously optimistic blah, blah, blah, and tout the government policies, blah, blah, blah.

There, now you don't have to read it.

Oh, and here is a sample of the headline, if the President's name was George W. Bush: U.S. Depression II Continues As Economy Shrank Again In Last Quarter.

I suggest you come up with your own.

UPDATED: Woo Hoo!