Here's one way to get your 15 minutes of fame. Serve as a guard at Club Gitmo. Instead of resenting the maniacal killers literally crapping in their hands and flinging it at you (and worse), embrace their satanic ideology. Newsweak will love you for it, as demonstrated by a puff piece glorifying Terry Holdbrooks, a former Gitmo guard with some loose screws who converted to Islam.

Unsurprisingly, Holdbrooks believes the Bush administration was behind the attacks on 9/11. According to Newsbleak, Holdbrooks and other guards doubt the terrorists at Gitmo are all that bad, and even that they're terrorists at all, while bleating piteously about their poor treatment (underinflated balls in the rec room, etc.). Gitmo vacationer Khalid Sheik Mohammad, who planned the September 11 atrocities, must be delighted that all is now forgiven.

Given Newsreek's history of fictional Gitmo reporting, you might wonder if Holdbrooks actually exists, so here's a picture:

Just your typical American soldier, who came to see the allure of Islam and bizarre ear alterations.

On a tip from Viking04. Cross-posted at Moonbattery.