The Dem convention is still two months away, but moonbat insanity is already choking Denver. Mayor John Hickenlooper has declared that it must be "the greenest convention in the history of the planet" — meaning that every detail must conform to absurd environmentalist ideology.

Greenwashing a moonbatfest of this size entails challenges. Many souvenir goodies will be passed out, and all must be of sound ideological pedigree. Fanny packs and baseball caps that are made of "organic cotton" (as opposed to inorganic cotton) by union labor in the USA are not easy to come by.

Convention organizers have actually hired someone with the title Director of Greening. Her responsibilities include trying to get allegedly biodegradable balloons to decompose by burying them in a compost heap. Under the Director of Greenwashing serves the Official Carbon Adviser, who measures the greenhouse gas emissions of placards, appetizers, and coffee cups.

The good news is that green collar jobs — which Dems have promised in compensation for the millions of jobs that will be lost when they strangulate the economy in the name of the global warming hoax — have actually begun to appear:

Decked out in green shirts, 900 volunteers will hover at waste-disposal stations to make sure delegates put each scrap of trash in the proper bin. Lest a fork slip into the wrong container unnoticed, volunteers will paw through every bag before it is hauled away.

In addition to providing a substitute for useful employment, Dems have also replaced the love of country they hold in such low esteem. According to Hickenloopy, environmentalist tomfoolery is "the new patriotism."

On tips from Varla, Oiao, and V the K. Cross-posted at Moonbattery.