The crisis:

FERNLEY -- Jesus Rodriguez was jolted awake early Saturday by his wife, who told him the street outside their house was filling with water.

"Flooding in the desert? I never thought it could happen here," Rodriguez said. "I thought she was crazy."

But within 20 minutes, the construction worker, his wife and their four children had waded through 3 feet of water, piled into their car and were trying to outrun the flood.

The car had gone only 10 feet before its engine died. "I told the kids everything would be OK," Rodriguez said.

Hundreds of Fernley residents evacuated their homes early Saturday after a 4 a.m. breach in an irrigation canal's earthen levee sent rising waters into this high desert town 30 miles east of Reno.

At least 18 of the town's 15,000 residents had to be evacuated by boats or helicopters provided by the Naval Air Station at Fallon and the Nevada Army National Guard, said Scott Huntley, division chief of the North Lyon County Fire Protection District. Local residents in fishing boats rescued many more. Huntley said the number of people rescued could approach 100.

It is unclear why President Bush ordered that levee to be blown up as we are unaware of a large, urban, black population he would want to destroy in that area. Current theories are:

1. President Bush is planning on ensuring that Nevada's electoral votes go GOP in 2008 by blowing up Hoover Dam and flooding Democrat-heavy Las Vegas just before election day - this was just a dry run, as it were.

2. Illegal wiretaps of innocent Americans proved that Fernley, Nevada is a hotbed of "truthers" who know what really happened on 9/11, and this is President Bush's way of letting them know they'd better keep quiet.

3. The letters in "fernley nevada" can be used to spell "fear laden vey" - a clear attempt to put more false fear of terrorism into the minds of Americans in service of the Jewish, neo-con cabal.

4. Haliburton wants to build an oil pipeline between Sacramento and Salt Lake City, and Fernley was just in the way.

5. "New Orleans", "Fernley" - absolutely nothing in common, and if that doesn't just stink to high heaven of conspiracy, then I don't know my arse from a hole in the ground.

We'll be keeping a close eye on this - unless, of course, "they" make us stop…

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