San Francisco Consults Harvey Milk By Ouija board Before Trying To Convince The Navy To Name A Ship After Him


In an extraordinarily bizarre turn of events, one of the most anti-military cities in America, San Francisco, wants the Navy to name a ship after left wing politician Harvey Milk. In Milk’s defense, he did serve in the military and rose to the level of lieutenant, junior grade. On the other hand, Harvey Milk’s claim to fame was that he was the first openly gay non-incumbent politician who was elected in the United States and he was later shot to death by a former city supervisor who said he went crazy from eating too many Twinkies. Why that merits naming a ship after him is anyone’s guess.

Of course, the Navy has already named a ship after that socialist Cesar Chavez, John Murtha who smeared the troops, and next up is Gabrielle Giffords. Admittedly, she seems like a very nice woman — for a liberal, but I’m not sure why getting shot in the head merits someone naming a ship after her. Here’s a crazy idea: maybe we could name Navy ships after military heroes, champions of the military, or at least Presidents? It would just seem to be a little more appropriate.

Anyway, getting back to San Francisco, where they’ve been persecuting the military for yearsthe final decision to try to get a ship named after Harvey Milk of all people turned out to be bizarre even for California.

Tuesday’s vote came on what would have been Milk’s 82nd birthday. According to supervisor John Avalos in a conversation with the San Francisco Gate:

We “actually put our hands on the Ouija board and the letters g-o-o-d-r-i-d-d-a-n-c-e-d-a-d-t came out. We asked Harvey, and Harvey gave us these letters: ‘Good riddance don’t ask, don’t tell.’ It was quite clear that Harvey Milk would have been opposed to ‘don’t ask, don’t tell.’ I can honestly say that’s one aspect of this resolution that’s really valid.”

With Harvey Milk’s ghostly blessing Avalos and seven other supervisors joined in to support the resolution.

This was so strange that my first reaction when I read it was that it must be one of those stories that was based on bad satire somewhere that people had mistaken for real news. Alas, no. It’s a real story.

The San Francisco Board of Supervisors actually consulted Harvey Milk via Ouija board and they think he gave the thumbs up to this idea because the Navy got rid of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. How in the world could the modern day Gomorrah have the highest rents in America, be over a billion dollars in debt, and have the lowest percentage of children in the United States with this gang of geniuses running the show? It just doesn’t make sense. Hey, here’s an idea: Maybe they should use their Ouija board to consult with Adam Smith and Milton Friedman to get some advice on how to fix the half a billion dollar deficit they’re expected to run up over the next two years. That might be a better use of their special Ouija powers.

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