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Another Day, Another Dead Occupier

Written By : John Hawkins
April 2, 2012

The Occupy Movement has produced a tsunami of threats, violence, rapes, vandalism, lawbreaking, almost 7,000 arrests, and now a 10th death. So far, there’s no indication of foul play, but the Occupier in question did apparently spend several days at room temperature in a tent before anyone found him.


The police are investigating the death of a man discovered Thursday night at the Occupy Tallahassee camp, according to Officer David Northway of the Tallahassee Police Department.

Though there is no indication of foul play at the current time, it reportedly took several days “or longer” for fellow Occupiers to discover the man’s body. “When somebody goes to their tent and goes to sleep, you leave them alone..Nobody‘s really prying into anybody else’s business out here, so it’s understandable,” one Tallahassee occupier said. He was allegedly found after occupiers noticed that he had been absent from group activities for several days, and went to check on him.

You may wonder how someone can die in the middle of a protest without anyone noticing for days. Well, after having attended Occupy Denver and Occupy D.C., I can answer that question for you: the tents stink so bad hogs wouldn’t root around in them. In fact, I tried to get my friend Emily Zanotti to let me take a picture of her in an Occupy Denver tent, but she refused on the grounds that she was afraid she’d get a disease. In retrospect, it was a good call. Of course, Occupy Denver wasn’t quite as bad as the Occupy D.C. camp site, where, I kid-you-not, it smelled almost as bad and I actually saw a rat roaming around.

As to this poor fellow who passed on, you have to have pity for him. Dying in a filthy tent, while you hear dirty freeloaders beating on bongos and doing “mic checks” in the distance has to be way up there on an ignominious ways to die list.

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