Taliban Translation Guide
Many people are confused when things that the Taliban say don’t seem to match up to reality. Some people believe that this means the Taliban are liars. Nothing could be further from the truth. You simply need to understand Taliban slang and lingo. Therefore, BKW has created a “Taliban Translation Guide” to help you out. Read and Enjoy!
Anti-Aircraft Unit: Men with slingshots
Anti-Tank Unit: 2 dozen guys with spears
Bin Laden is safe: Bin Laden is hiding under a burqa pretending to be a woman
Brazen Slut: Woman with ankles showing
Eat: What you do if your camel goes lame
Enforcing Proper Grooming: Beating people who don’t have beards long enough to trip over
Fighting to the Last Breath: Running when fired at
Enforcing the Law: Stopping people from flying kites and playing music
Moderate Taliban: Taliban who prefer hanging people for watching TV instead of stoning them
Negotiate: Delay as long as possible
Prime Real Estate: Cave with two ways out
Safe House: Red Cross
Self Defense: Blowing up a school bus full of kids in another country
Tactical Regrouping: Hiding in Caves
Tactical Retreat: Running for your life
Tank Parking Lot: Mosque
Weapon: Stick
(“Top Notch” Weapon): Stick with a nail in it