Written By : John Hawkins
January 1, 2012

10) That was your sister? She has really big ta-ta’s for a 14 year old.

9) This has been the most stimulating 15 minutes of conversation I’ve ever had. What are you doing for the rest of your life baby?

8) It’s a real miracle drug. I couldn’t control my herpes without it.

7) I’m so glad you agreed to go out with me. I just started using Viagra and I’ve been wanting to see how well it works…

6) I asked you out because you look so much like my last girlfriend. I still think about her all the time and being with you is almost as good as being with her.

5) I’m glad we’re going out. I got 8 kids at home that need a new mama.

4) Man your friend looked incredible! Can I have her number just in case things don’t work out tonight?

3) A lot of people think Scientology is a cult but that’s not true. In fact, I want you to come to a meeting with me tomorrow to prove it. No I insist, you will come to the meeting tomorrow! You don’t want the Thetans to eat your soul do you?

2) When you date as many prostitutes, strippers, and junkies as I do it’s nice to finally be going out with a classy woman like you!

1) That Big Mac and fries cost $5.24. That means when we go to my place later you owe me $5.24 worth of poontang.

- Take a look at part 2 of this article here.

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