Written By : John Hawkins
January 1, 2012

10) I was too busy looking for nude pics of Hillary Clinton on the web.

9) All my free time has to be spent working on my new NSYNC fan site.

8) I clicked on that “shoot the monkey” banner ad 372 times trying to win a prize.

7) Last night I chopped up a homeless guy, wrapped him in plastic, and buried him in the yard (**I said it was crazy to put this in article but when a 3000 year old telepathic dog tells you to do something, you end up doing it. Trust me, I know**).

6) I watched “Star Wars: Episode I–The Phantom Menace” 4 times so I could try to figure out exactly what the hell Jar Jar Binks was saying.

5) I stayed up until 3 AM last night enjoying my hilarious new “Bonzai Buddy”.

4) I had a passionate debate with friend about who was a better role model for generation X: Sisqo or Eminem.

3) I spent last night calling friends of mine over and over, going “Whasssuuup” into the phone, and then hanging up.

2) No more updates for BKW until I finish this new Ally Mcbeal fanfiction.

1) Because if I update BKW, the terrorists will win!

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