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The Amazing Japanese Dog Translator
by John Hawkins
Scientists all over the world are delighted with the incredible, new, Japanese invention that allows them to translate what dogs are saying. You can read about this fantastic invention here at "Japan Today"
RWN has managed to get some exclusive information about this miraculous
scientific break through. These dog translators will be available in the US
by Christmas and in an effort to stimulate sales, the inventors of this
product, Takara Co, have given us some common translations of what are dogs
are saying. Keep in mind, these are just a handful of the nearly 200
different translations this product does.
Dog: Rowf, Rowf
Translation: When a quality Honda is available, why would anyone buy an American car?
Dog: Growf, ruff, grrrrr
Translation: Japanese men have much larger penises than stereotypes would lead you to believe.
Dog: GRRRRRRRR
Translation: Buy that Sony TV or I will be forced to bite you!
Dog: Whimpering (with thunder in the background)
Translation: I must hide under the bed before Godzilla gets here!
Dog: Arooooooo, Rowf
Translation: How can synchronised swimming be an Olympic sport when sumo wrestling isn't? Where is the justice?
Dog: Arrrrrrrrf (as he defecates on the floor)
Translation: That is payback for Hiroshima and Nagasaki imperialist Yankee!!
Dog: Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof
Translation: Let us go to Japan on vacation and spend all of our money on saki and square watermelons!
Dog: Woof, arf, growf
Translation: You are serving me Purina dog chow instead of sushi? You have no honor!
Dog: Arf, Arf
Translation: The Chinese bombed Pearl Harbor, not the Japanese. Your history books are confused!
**RWN makes no claims as to the accuracy of these translations, about whether we really spoke to Takara Co or not, nor about whether or not we think the anime characters from Sailor Moon would be "really sexy" if they were real.***
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