It happens every year... a high school kid has a baby, tosses it in a dumpster, and then goes back to the prom to finish off the dance. What to do?

The solution is simple, don't get mad about prom queens abandoning infants...get Glad!

[Glad Trash Bags Commercial Take #41 "Prom Night"]

High School Girl Runs Into Alley, Blood Running Down Legs, Carrying Newborn Screaming Baby.

Girl: Oh my God... I just... I can't... this is too much...

Girl Prepares To Toss Baby Into Dumpster

Mike Ditka Appears: What are you doing there!

Girl: OH MY GOD! Oh... whew. I thought you were the father. I'm throwing my baby in the dumpster so I can wash up and go back into the Prom.

Mike Ditka: I remember my Prom days. I was nervous, too. But a baby?

Girl: Yeah, I know. But my parents will be so mad at me...

Mike Ditka: Don't let them get mad... get Glad!

Girl: Glad?

Mike Ditka Holds Out Box Of Glad Trash Bags: Glad! It's the strongest trash bags on the market.

Switch To Side-By-Side Comparison Of "Glad" And "Leading Trash Bag" With A Hand Pulling Up On Each.

Mike Ditka: It'll never break, no matter how much you overfill it.

"Leading Trash Bag" Eventually Breaks, Dead Bloody Babies Spill Out.

Girl: Wow.

Mike Ditka: And it's soundproof, too.

Girl Ties Glad Bag Shut, Baby Cries Stop: And it's got these handy strap-handles for carrying the bag.

Mike Ditka Laughs: Oh, you don't want to get caught with that bag. Give it a toss!

Girl Laughs And Tosses Bag In Dumpster: Oh, you're right! And since it won't break, they might never find the baby!

Mike Ditka To Audience: Why don't you try Glad bags today?

Cynlinder Of "Glad Handy Wipes" Appears In Corner

Mike Ditka: And try new Glad Handy Wipes for cleaning up those messy spills and stains.

Closeup Of Girl Wiping Blood From Leg

Fini

If you like this article, check out more of Laurence's work on File13's Amish Tech Support.