Federal Government Assures Remaining Population Will Be Obese By End Of Decade
Written By : Marni Malarkey

According to a report released today from the US Surgeon General's office, a shocking 20% of Americans are not yet obese. "This is alarming," said Surgeon General Richard Carmona from his Washington home earlier this afternoon. "And as Surgeon General of the United States I will make it my primary focus to ensure that all Americans achieve a morbidly obese body weight before the end of the decade." Carmona said he also hopes local doctors and pediatricians will do their part. "I feel it is necessary for family doctors to help parents teach their children the worst possible way to eat -- or rather, to help the few parents out there who already haven't done so to teach their children the worst possible way to eat."

The new Secretary of Nutrition is sworn in at the White House achieve a morbidly obese body weight before the end of the decade." Carmona said he also hopes local doctors and pediatricians will do their part. "I feel it is necessary for family doctors to help parents teach their children the worst possible way to eat -- or rather, to help the few parents out there who already haven't done so to teach their children the worst possible way to eat."

Carmona said that the 20% of Americans who are not yet obese are probably making the following lifestyle mistakes: exercising, not snacking, chewing their food, including fruits, vegetables and whole grains in their diets, not eating fast food and walking when they could drive. "There are probably Americans out there who could drive the one block from their home to the corner 7-11, but instead they choose to walk. And that's a shame. Because it's little things like that that make all the difference. And just think of the example they're setting for their children." Carmona said that his office will issue a set of recommendations for Americans who are not yet obese but until the guidelines are out, he recommends that non-obese Americans do what they can to keep their self-esteem wanting. "I suggest dwelling on past mistakes, making lists of what you don't like about yourself, calling up people who have rejected you in the past and so forth. That should help, because we find that when people have even a low level of self-esteem, they care enough about themselves to want to live for as long as possible. We also find that the above listed activities tend to send people right to the 'Pizza' listings in their Yellow Pages.

If you like this article check out more of Marni's work at Broken Newz.

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