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Kneecapping Barack Obama at every opportunity. | ||
Linda: Waking up... always takes me a while to wake up fully, dunno why :(
John Hawkins: Try taking a shower immediately..that will do it
Linda: I know ;) rubbing noses w/my kitty first
John Hawkins: Watch out she'll give u a disease.
Linda: No!
John Hawkins: lol
Linda: Thats a silly thing to say Archie! :p
John Hawkins: Hahaha...cats suck @ss =]
Linda: GASP oh Archie
John Hawkins: Hahaha
Linda: U r such a mean b@stard, she's just a cat, and she doesnt suck @ss!
John Hawkins: She sucks pig @ss like all cats
Linda: Ummm, ok, being violently opposed to one of Gods simple creatures for no good reason is a very becoming trait.
John Hawkins: Cats are filthy, incorrigible, animals..comparable to furry cockroaches with fleas
Linda: They are not. They are EXTREMELY clean. Cockroaches w/fleas? R u nuts? Dogs are dirtier than cats Arch.
John Hawkins: There's a scientific theory going around now that cats are the primary cause of crib death....babies are allergic to them and then it's UGUGUUUGGGU.....cats are not suitable as pets...and they eat their own poop.
Linda: Bullsh*t and more bullsh*t cats do not eat their own poop, HOWEVER I have seen dogs do that. Crib death? Show me tard where it says anything at all, even some far out cat hater theory that links cats w/crib death.
John Hawkins: They also carry lice..ever see these poor kids with lice? That's where they get it from..cats
Linda: Arch, any animal that is not well cared for will get fleas/lice. You're just looking for excuses to pick on cats u have an irrational hatred for them, almost as if they somehow threaten your manhood or something. You treat cats the way homophobic men treat gays....
Linda: I would send u pics of my kitty, but u'd just mock her!
John Hawkins: Cats drink their own urine..they eat their own poop..they eat mice and rats which are disgusting.....they spread the black plague in the middle ages...cats also are notably stupid..many of them have been drowned looking up in the rain and there have been a lot of attacks on small children by cats.
Linda: Oh bullsh*t Arch cats didnt spread plague, RATS did. Drowned looking up in the rain? Ya right... cats do not drink their own urine or poop, I've NEVER seen a cat do that. BUT I HAVE SEEN DOGS LICK OTHER DOGS URINE. Face it Arch, something about cats makes u feel weak and small, I bet you were a mouse in a former life, LOL
John Hawkins: I think your hatred of dogs is irrational. Dogs don't lick each other....Cats eat each other..did you know the majority of kittens are actually eaten by other cats? According to http://www.catfacts.org/garfieldblows.htm (**I just completely made that up**) there were 27 infant deaths caused by cats last year....
Linda: I don't hate dogs I love dogs I have no problems w/gods creatures I suspect u may have been one of those guys that tortured small animals when u were a kid. Did u skin cats Arch?
Linda: That site doesnt exist tard lame, lame, lame
John Hawkins: I must have gotten a letter off or something..I do have a cathair pillow at home but I didn't skin it...hey once when I was a kid I took two cats..tied their tails together and hung them over a clothesline..boy did they fight..that was still the one of the funniest things I ever saw
Linda: U didnt do that. It's not possible to tie two cats tails together.
John Hawkins: I absolutely promise u that it is....I had to hold one down with my foot..their tails aren't very limber
Linda: I dont even wanna know, u r disgusting and are making me sick
John Hawkins: What cha mean? Times were different back then..it was more accepted..sure I'd never do that today but then it was kind of cute.....one of em did lose an eye tho...
Linda: U r a sick man
John Hawkins: Awww...don't be like that...cats are like fish..they don't feel pain
Linda: Both cats and fish feel pain how could u even think of doing such mean things to innocent creatures?
John Hawkins: I was kid....haven't u ever done something u weren't that proud of when u were young and impulsive? I mean I was 19 years old and bored...plus one of the cats scratched me...They kind of deserved it
Linda: Wow, if you'd said 12 or 13, ok... but 19, u kinda know better. If u hate cats now, u hated cats then, if the cat scratched u, u must have been bugging it. Since u dont like cats, I highly doubt u were trying to play nice with it when it scratched u.
John Hawkins: It's a funny story really..It was the summer between semesters at college..I got this bb gun I liked to play with...I used to shoot trees, cans, etc. I shot the cat a few times just to see if I could hit a moving target...I'm pretty sure it didn't hurt it or anything...then I tried to pet it and it scratched me...well u just can't let animals get away with that crap...Next thing u know it'll be stealing stuff from your car...
Linda: Arch, that is the biggest crock of sh*t i've ever heard
John Hawkins: ???
Linda: I don't believe u even tried to pet that cat, u were probably trying to pick it up, hold it at close range so you could shoot it in the face. You r a mean b@stard.
John Hawkins: Why would you say that? I value cats very highly..sure I've had some unfortunate experiences with them..but I am sensitive to disease and they are dangerous, violent animals....I honestly have a lot of trouble believing you've never at least kicked your cat...and don't tell me that if your cat had kittens u'd hesitate to put them in a burlap bag with a rock and dump them in a lake..what else would ya do with em? That's ok but shooting them isn't?
This was pretty much the end of the prank..we then had some after prank chat..check out this comment at the end..
Linda: I didn't buy it, but I do believe u must have tortured them probably more than once. I suspect after our discussion this morning that in a previous life, u my dear, were a homosexual mouse who was eaten by a female cat ;)
John Hawkins: Hahaha..that's going in too
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