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Democrats resolutely refuse to tell the poor the secret to not being poor: Keep your knees together until marriage. -- Ann Coulter
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Best Of RWN Humor
Afghanistan, Iraq, & The Axis Of Evil
Angered By Snubbing, Libya, China Syria Form Axis Of Just As Evil
Axis of Evil Hires New CEO
Behind The Scenes In Iraq With Wolf Streisand
Cable News Coverage Of The War
Constant 'Joke' Calls From White House Putting Further Strain On Relations Between US And UN
The Diary of Iseema bin Laden
The First 'Axis of Evil' Joint Press Conference Degenerates Into Squabbling
George W. Bush: 'No Decision Has Been Made About Iraq'
The Good, the Bad, and The Ugly
In My World: Bush and Chirac Personally Supervise Inspections
Interview: Saddam Hussein
Iraqi Disarmament Argument (Based On Monty Python's "Argument Clinic" Skit)
Iraq To Allow Inspectors Back Unconditionally, With The Following Conditions
North Korea Vacation Paradise?
Overheard Inside A Fallujah Bunker
The Peacenik's Guide To Arresting Terrorists in Afghanistan
Saddam Is Counting On You!
The Saddam Hussein Fan Club
Taliban Accuses America Of Targeting Civilians
The Taliban and Al-Queda's Top 10 Excuses For Being Defeated in Afghanistan
The Theme Song For The Human Shields
U.S. Finds Iraq Contractor With No Political Ties
You Stupid American. We Bomb You Now! (More Fan Mail)
Al-Qaeda
The Top 10 Things We'd Put On al-Queda's Website If We Hacked It
The RWN Guide To Osama Bin Laden
The Top 10 Al-Queda Excuses For Why We Haven't Heard From Bin Laden Since Tora Bora
Proof That Bin Laden Was Framed!
Ask Osama -- Advice for the Faithful
The Terrorist Quiz
Mad Osama's Super Sale!
Al-Qaeda Job Opening
Brave Sir Bin Laden
The Top 10 Questions CNN Should Have Asked Osama Bin Laden
The Top 10 Things Osama Bin Laden Is Thinking Right Now
Mad Osama's Afghani Real Estate Directory!
Animal Humor
ALF Mix-Up Ends In Feline Tragedy
The Amazing Japanese Dog Translator
Animal Control Fighting Smurf Infestation
Cats or Dogs? Which is the Better Pet?
A Day In The Life Of A Puppy
Profile: Patton
The Puppy-Oil Cannon
RWN's Guide To Raising Your Dog
Steve Irwin Has A Michael Jackson "Balcony Moment"
Tasmanian Devils. Man's New Best Friend?
The Top 10 Things I've Learned From Watching My Dog
Woman Insists Her Love For Cats Doesn't Interfere With Goal Of Finding A Man
Woman Speaks To Cat Like It Was A Human Being
Fake Interviews
The Bono Interview
Interview: W/ Hawkins Co-Worker Chris
Fake Interview: DragonBall Z
Exclusive Interview: Chirac Advises Bush How to Avoid War
Interview W/ The Creator of Pokémon
An Interview With Condi Rice
Interview With Satan
Interview w/ Britney Spears
Internet
The Guide to Annoying People Via ICQ
Microsoft Announces AE 1.0 Software for Jetliners
The Right Wing News Guide to IRC
Things Are Going to Change Around Here
The Top 10 Biggest Lies Told On The Internet
Issues
Constitution Ruled Unconstitutional
Fast Food Restaurants Sued For Making Man Unhealthy
Politically Correct Fairy Tales
The Right Wing News Guide To Rain Forests
ICQ Pranks
Are You Making Fun of My Name?
Do You Want to Join My Clan?
Emperor Galactus
GAH!!! A Witch!!!
Glad to Help!
I Am A Paecemaker! Peace Is My Gun!
I Am A Paecemaker! Peace Is My Gun Part 2!
The l33t Hax00r
MMMMM...Toes
My Dad Says
The Persistent Spammer
So How Are the Death Matches This Time of Year?
There's A Hacker In The Chat
Welcome to Hell...EHR Australia
The Left
Juan Gato's Handy Dandy Translation Guide For Anti-War Protestors
Liberals On The High Seas
The Peacenik's Guide to Anti-War Arguments
The Top 9 Signs The Dems Have Gone Completely Crazy In Reaction To The Polls
The RWN Guide To Anti-Americanism
Misc
Q&A Friday #24: About The Latest Burger King Commercial
America's Military: Our First Defense Against The Baby Menace
Americans Don't Like Soccer Because It's So Boring It Sucks Your Will To Live
Anthrax? Did Someone Say Anthrax? Panic, Panic, Panic!
April Fool's Prank Page 2007
Arafat Telephone Transcripts Revealed
Beer Police Score Huge Bust
Blue State Blues As Coastal Parents Battle Invasion Of Dollywood Values
Canterbury Tales Assignment
Collect Call from Carrot-Top Not Accepted
Don't Get Mad About Prom Queens Abandoning Infants...Get Glad!
Famous Last Words
Fan Mail
Fan Mail: Why Is Your Website So Violent?
Flip A Towel
Financial Advice
A Frank Guide To A Cordial Political Discussion By Frank J.
Glad Wrap Commercial: Draft Version #21
God's First Day As Head Negotiator in the Middle Eastern Conflict Goes Poorly
The Greatest Terrorist Threat: Babies
Sixty Minutes Exclusive: The Memo George Bush Doesn't Want You To See!
How Dare the FBI Question People?!?!?
If The Media Treated Basketball Games Like They Treat The War On Terror
If Planned Parenthood Wrote The Next Harry Potter Book...
John Hawkins's Guide to Child Care
John Hawkins's Guide to Child Care Age 2 months - 1 Years
The Journal of an Angsty Teen
Man Is Bitterly Disappointed By 'Wishmaster 3'
Mainstream Media Magazine
Marry Me Jennifer!!!
Non-American Countries Gather for Quadrennial World Cup Wimpfest
A Pictorial Guide To The 'Axis Of Weasels'
Political Conversations With Bear Bots Go About As Well As You'd Think
Presidential War Lies
The RWN Guide To The American Lawyer (Epluribus Scumsuckingus Iceheartedess Sobness)
The Southerners Guide to Snow
"Return Of The King" Movie Review
Right Wing News Needs Women
That Wacky Patton
The RWN Idiot Test
The RWN Real-Estate Sale
Steve Irwin Has A Michael Jackson "Balcony Moment"
Stress Kills
Superhero Wanted
Survivor: Islamic Law
The Top Ten South Park Episodes Of All-Time
The Universal Democratic Underground Thread
Rules For Terrorist Dating
'Attack Of The Clones' Wasn't Worth The Wait
Zokrom
Politics
A Frank Guide To A Cordial Political Discussion By Frank J.
Bill Clinton's Official Portrait
BREAKING NEWS: 15 Year-Old Wins Write-In Campaign For Florida Governorship
Contribute To John Kerry For President By Broken Newz
Democrats And Press Say 'Kmartgate' Will Be Bigger Than Enron
Frank Suggestions for Campaign Ads
Frank Suggestions to Improve John Kerry's Campaign By Frank J.
Hillary Clinton's Crash Site Photos. Caution-Gory Footage
Keep Your Friends Close And Hillary Closer
Know Thy Enemy: Democrats By Frank J.
President Bush Has Been Nominated For A Nobel Peace Prize
Ten Ways Dick Cheney Can Kill You
The Ultimate Karl Rove T-Shirt
Why I Am A Democrat
Relationship Humor
The Top 10 Worst Pick-Up Lines For Geeks
The Top 10 Worst Things You Can Say on a First Date Part 3
The Top 10 Worst Things You Can Say on a First Date Part 2
The Top 10 Worst Things You Can Say on a First Date
Things To Remember When Dating Geeks, Nerds, Dorks, And Various Other Socially Challenged Guys
Pre-Relationship Agreement
Advice For The Lovelorn
If Your Girlfriend Is A Vegetarian
Top Ten Lists
Top Nine Things Overheard At A Bill Clinton Book Signing By Frank J.
The Top 10 Reasons Sesame Street Never Caught On With The Palestinians
Top 10 Things Heard An The UN Commission On Human Rights Since Moammar Gadaffi Took Over
The Top 10 Worst Excuses For Not Updating RWN
The Top 10 Worst Replacement Names for Operation Infinite Justice
The Top 10 Worst Replacement Names For Operation Infinite Justice Part 2
Translation Guides
The Man's Translation Guide: What Are Women Really Saying
The Republican's Translation Guide: What Are Democrats Really Saying?
Taliban Translation Guide
The Translation Guide For Middle Eastern Dictators
The Translation Guide For Tech Support
The Woman's Translation Guide: What Are Men Really Saying?
War On Terrorism
A Frank Guide to Homeland Security Alert Levels
A Message to the World From The US Ambassador of Whoop Ass
How The Left Believes Al-Qaeda Works By Perry Bullock
Timid Townfolk Sweep Sheriff Election
The War On Terrorism: Where Do Nations Stand?
What If The Matrix Was Guarded By Homeland Security?
The World
30 Fun Facts About Canada
An Open Letter to China
The Axis of Weasels
Canada Announces Going Out of Business Sale
Canadian Fan Mail
Canadian Man Mildly Offended That America Isn't Threatening To Invade Canada
The Canadian Menace
A Pictorial Guide To The 'Axis Of Weasels'
French Army to Market 'Ultimate Surrender' Video Game
French PM: 'It's Great to Be Collaborating with Germany Again!'
Greek Security Team Doesn't Notice Giant Horse
The Jacques Chirac Apology Song
The Right Wing News Guide to the World
Rumsfeld Sorry for 'Axis of Weasels' Remark
The Top 21 National Slogans
US Government Press Release: Rumor Control on Europe
© Copyright 2001-2008 John Hawkins
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Retro RWN
In Defense Of The Drug War
Liberals vs. The Troops
Liberal Emotion vs. Conservative Logic
10 Questions For Al Gore And The Global Warming Crowd
Five Things You Can't Say In America