I recently got a P.O. Box for the page and posted it on the web page. Today I checked it for the first time and got my first letter from one of our readers...so I thought. I opened the letter up and noticed there was a picture in there and a return envelope. It was also from a reader who lives in the same state I do.

The picture said "Not for Publication" on it. I don't have a problem with that. Then I checked out the woman in the picture. Now to be honest with you, I don't think I'm really that harsh about grading people on attractiveness. I mean when I hit a page like "Hot or Not" I rarely score women lower than the average and some times I score them as much as 3 or 4 points above the average. However, this woman was butt ugly. Her face was so masculine that I was checking her throat for an adam's apple. Her hair was blond and looked she should dyed it again about a month ago. She was kind of chubby and she had great big Oprah arms. Her face had the flat emotionless expression of someone who'd just had a frontal labotomy. In short she was sitting at the bottom of the ugly tree covered in broken branches she'd hit on the way down.

Now all of this said, I didn't really care a lot about how she looked. I still thought it was nice that she had written me about something. So I started reading the letter. My thoughts as I read are green and in parentheses.

RJ (Somehow I didn't notice it wasn't adressed to me. Apparently this is the guy who had the P.O. box before me)

We saw your add in Carolina's Choice (Again somehow I just missed this part when I was reading. I zoned back in after this sentence however). I liked what I saw and read (She likes the webzine, that's nice). My name is Lisa and my husband's name is Johnny (ho-hum). We are a happily married, straight, white couple (that's kind of odd thing to throw in). We are looking for someone to help Johnny f*** me (spits diet Dr. Pepper all over the walls...WTH?!?!). I'm 34, 5'4', 135, blonde (dyed), blue, shaved (uggh..after seeing her pic I didn't want to know that), 38c-32-38 (that c cup looks like a real reach from the pic I saw). Johnny is 33, 5 '10', 140, brown, hazel, and 6 1/2 inches (Oh good lord I definitely didn't need to know that..blah) and very straight (you left out the part about him being the only person to be on 3 consecutive episodes of COPS). We are disease free and very discrete (The fact that I'm getting this letter tells me a lot about how discrete you are).

We have only done this twice and it didn't work out very well (Oh the other times didn't work out very well? Well just sign me right up) because it was about 30 minutes and that wasn't enough. We are looking for someone who can go for a long time. Someone open minded enough to let my husband F*** me while you do (Dr. Pepper spit #2.) I like anal but if you are bigger than my husband you will have to be easy til I get used to your size (Must not.......imagine, ....having..sex..with really, really, ugly..woman. Need porn...quickly...). I would really like a d*** in my p**** and my @ss at the same time (Come on don't be a prude, tell me what you really want.) I like oral, both giving and receiving (Ok I am going to go drink a bottle of turpentine now to stop the mental pain.) I would like someone to help Johnny f*** me til I am completely exhausted (Excuse me but I'm going to dig out my eyes with my thumbs now..brb).

I would like a facial photo if possible to make my decision. I am also sending you a photo of myself (Maybe if she wore a mask and if I was behind her the whole time and if...oh screw it I'm reaching here.). If l like what I see I will send you a phone #.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Lisa and Johnny.

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