Although we're still collecting demographic information about the people that read our esteemed web page there was one statistic that jumped out at me. Less than 5% of readers are women! Well when I saw that I said "Holy F*ck these peppers are hot!!!" and I went back to eating my lunch.

However, after reflecting on these numbers I've realized why RWN hasn't pulled in as many readers as I've hoped....not enough pornography!!! Of course the fact that hardly any women read the page probably doesn't help much either.

The fact that we don't pull a large female readership puzzles me to no end. We're sensitive to women's issues. Do you see any other mainstream pages interviewing big busted porn stars like Minka? No way! Do other sites have sensitive articles about child care up like us? No way! Plus we're always respectful to all the hoochies that we can get to read the page.

Furthermore, I think Brass Knuckles Webzine has a lot of things to offer female readers.

First of all, I write most of the articles on RWN and I definitely have a penis. Women love the male penis. It's a proven fact. Show me any woman who's gotten married and I'll show you a woman who at one time in her life, loved a penis. So since I have a penis and women love penises (penii?), shouldn't I be drawing lots of women readers? I know, it just doesn't make it any sense....

The you have to consider some of the other popular web pages out there...

Slashdot: The first part of the page name is "slash". Like a slasher film. Is that a positive message for the young women of America? Compare that our name "Brass Knuckles Webzine." It's like we look at people who don't like women and want to punch them in the face!!!

Something Awful: Something Awful..as if they're saying "Well there's something awful coming for all you women out there!" We love women and we wish every woman good things..like charge cards, short periods, and Fabio.

The Drudge Report: If the so called "Drudge Report" were really sensitive to women it would probably be called the "Oprah Report" or the "Rosie Report". We also have it from a very reliable source that Matt Drudge is none other than evil Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. Saddam Hussein is a noted enemy of the USA, a country with women. We hate people who hate countries that hate naked Cheerios and drunken foofernacle and...ah..what was I saying?

If that doesn't convince you that women should be reading our webpage, look at our views on these important issues...

The pain of pregnancy: We're against it

People who don't like women: They suck rhino @ss!!

Sexual harassment: We're totally against it..unless you sort of think we're cute and might like to...no..ok then well..we're totally against it!!!

Lesbians: We love them!! Especially their movies!!

Well known women Mariah Carey, Jennifer Lopez, and Jennifer Alba: OMG do we love them!!!

PMS: We're against it!!

Stalkers: We just hate 'em!!

A woman's right to be naked: We're for it!!

So it should be obvious that we love women here at Brass Knuckles Webzine!! It breaks our hearts that according to our survey that the number of "sexually active women who want cheap one night stands with funny webmasters" seems to be at zero.

So you may be wondering...Saddam Hussein is really Matt Drudge? What type of bleeping magic mushrooms did he take before writing this article? Of course you could also be wondering, what can we do to help? Should we send porn? No, better yet..send women!!

If you're a fan of the page, forward the url of this article via email across the net to every woman you know or to every person you know who might know a woman or people who play Everquest who are pretending to be women but WHO ARE REALLY guys who might know women who...oh screw this crap. Just this once, send people a link to this page (Our email demographics blow like a cheap hooker as well).

I'll be looking for tons 'o' new chikas hitting the page this week-end. If I get 'em, then everyone's happy..if not I'm doing a 5 day long, in depth, serious look at the media coverage of the presidential election in Florida. Don't screw with me because I'm just crazy enough to do it....boogity, boogity, boogity, boo =P

© Copyright 2001-2008 John Hawkins
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