President Mohammad Khatami of Iran announced today that the new CEO for the Axis of Evil would be Brainiac of the Planet Colu. Known best for his leadership of the now fallen Legion of Doom, Brainiac was responsible for many nearly completed apocalyptic projects during his reign.

Khatami proudly introduced the new A.O.E. leader to a standing room only Iranian crowd. After a small celebration and stoning of elderly women, Brainiac spoke to the crowd and outlined his plans for the future. In his speech, he spoke of alliances with small countries, expanding the size of the A.O.E. military by lowering the draft age from 8 to "can you hold this gun?", boosting moral, and strengthening the A.O.E. forces by building a giant shrink ray to use on the U.S. Capital. While Brainiac admitted that these steps wouldn't be completed overnight, he did say that he saw a bright future for the Taliban, Al Qaeda and the entire Axis of Evil.

Sources close to President Mohammad Khatami tell us Brainiac was not the first choice for the CEO position. Most prominent among the names dropped over the last few months was Lex Luther, a co-worker of Brainiac during the prime years in the Legion of Doom. Though the negotiations lasted for several weeks, Luther's recent lack of "evil" presence was his downfall. It appears Luther has been living in Sandstall, Nebraska for the last 8 years teaching soccer to 11 year olds. Our source reports that "although his team leads the league in penalties, it's poor performance in the play-offs kept Luther from getting serious consideration for the CEO slot."

If you like this article check out more material from the guys at "Broken Newz".

© Copyright 2001-2008 John Hawkins

hit counter