Obama Possibly Trading Keystone for More Taxes


Pretty much everyone, including all of the major labor unions, is geeked about the Keystone Pipeline, which would create jobs and improve the United State’s energy independence. But a bunch of hippies hate it, and the hippies vote, probably illegally in seven states, so Barack Obama is totally against it for right now, you guys. The Earth, it matters so much more than rebuilding the American economy by providing needed jobs to skilled and unskilled laborers in states across middle America, and ending the vice grip that backwards Middle Eastern nations have on our energy consumption.

Of course, Barack Obama is always willing to make concessions. And by that, he totally means that he will gladly give you your precious Keystone XL Pipeline…but if and only if you also agree to allow him to tax the stuffing out of whatever is left of American industry in the name of heading off global warming by slowing America’s noxious carbon dioxide production.

The president may try to satisfy both environmentalists and pro-growth blocs by tying the shovel-ready project curiously left out of the State of the Union to just-introduced carbon-tax legislation.

Having failed to lower the sea levels in his first term, President Obama, in the first SOTU of his second term, highlighted the need for fighting climate change and proposed an Energy Security Trust Fund to siphon off money from those who actually produce abundant and useable energy to fund alternative energy sources which constitute a rounding error in the percent of energy produced by various sources.

Thankfully, Barbara Boxer and others were around to introduce the Carbon Tax legislation shortly after the President mentioned the possibility of passage in return for the only major public works project in the hopper. Because, as the President has routinely noted, American industry is in sharp decline, as companies move production overseas to avoid the heavy costs associated with organized labor and the ever-increasing tax burden the Obama Administration sees fit to levy on job producers their evil corporate partners. And the only way to stop the bleeding is to levy even more job-killing taxes!

The National Association of Manufacturers addressed this idea by making at least one thing crystal clear: no matter how happy a carbon tax would make Captain Planet’s alter-ego, Al Gore, it would have a massive and widely-felt effect on the American economy.

A tax on carbon dioxide emissions became a hot political topic again after President Barack Obama promised to address climate change during his second term. However, a study by the National Association of Manufacturers has found that a carbon tax would be detrimental to the U.S. economy.

“The carbon tax is a bad idea,” said Jay Timmons, president and CEO of the National Association of Manufacturers, who added that manufacturing output could fall up to 15 percent if a carbon tax were to be imposed.

So, put simply: Obama opposed a major job-creating, energy-independence-promoting project in order to appease the environmentalists, then, when it’s clear people support the pipeline, he tries to again trade it for something to appease the environmentalists. And then, he wonders why America’s industry is declining and the economy won’t magically perk back up.

Huh.

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