Because I regularly read through offbeat websites in order to compile new editions of “Anyone can post on the internet“, I get a lot of opportunities to peruse the latest crackpot conspiracy theories. During any given week I may read about Planet X, the Illuminati / Free Mason / Jewish / (take your pick) plot to rule the world, concentration camps being prepared across America by the military, the “Bush Family Evil Empire”, and even lizard people who rule world. If some raving moonbat has come up with it, I’ve probably run across it at one point or another.
Now if these ridiculous beliefs were relegated to the fringes of society I probably wouldn’t bother with writing an editorial to shoot down the thinking behind these theories. However, this sort of bizarre paranoia has crept into “mainstream thinking”. Things like the “Jewish Conservatives manipulating the President”, “The Republicans rigged the 2002 elections”, & “Bush knew (about 9/11)” have been tossed around by people many see as more credible than the average fruit loop writing for these conspiracy websites. That’s why I thought it would be worth tossing out a few questions that anyone who starts to buy into these sorts of theories should consider. To begin with’
How many people know about this conspiracy?: It’s very difficult to keep any sort of newsworthy conspiracy that hundreds or thousands of people are supposedly involved in out of the mainstream press. Keep in mind that we live in a world where the President can’t even get a BJ from an intern without it becoming public knowledge. Even things as sensitive as battle plans for upcoming invasions get into the papers. That’s why you should certainly be skeptical of any sort of vast conspiracy that requires people keeping quiet about it indefinitely.
How reliable is your source?: As the ongoing saga with the New York Times has illustrated, the mainstream media is not always completely reliable. However, they’re infinitely more trustworthy than people who post anonymously on the net. I’m often surprised to see that people who don’t trust one thing that Fox News or the New York Times says will blindly lap up whatever some conspiracy website or moonbat radio talk show host like Art Bell has to say. Yet, even though these sources burn them again and again, their readers still buy into what they have to say. It makes no sense.
Do you have ready answers for the obvious questions?:Let’s look at a conspiracy that was floating around after 9/11 — that the Pentagon was hit by a truck bomb, not a plane. Well in that case, what happened to the plane that was hijacked? How could it be that various people WATCHED the plane flying towards the Pentagon? Is it possible that the hundreds of firefighters and military personnel who must have known the truth were somehow silenced? Why would anyone go through such an elaborate charade? If you can’t convincingly answer the most basic questions about a conspiracy, then it’s tough for the theory you’re supporting to hold any water.
Are you acting as if commonly held beliefs are unique?:This is one question that a lot of the more “mainstream” conspiracy theorists should ask themselves more often. For example, over the last year and a half we’ve constantly heard people asserting that beliefs held by a large majority of Republicans are really unique to a handful of Conservative Jews who somehow manipulated Bush into going to war to help Israel. Who the conspiracy theories pick out of the bunch and try to assign sinister motives to in situations like that usually says more about the conspiracy theorist than the person or group they target.
Are you relying too much on a handful of contrary facts?:Rarely do you ever see a story where every fact, “falls into place”. By that I mean people’s memories are faulty, perceptions differ, politicians spin issues, press biases creep in, things are taken out of context, & typos and factual errors come into play as well. When these things inevitably happen, conspiracy theorists tend to seize a handful of inconsistencies and try to prove that there’s a cover-up or conspiracy happening. But, this is just how life works. If you don’t believe me, leave a couple of kids alone in a room full of breakables with a football, come back a few minutes after you hear something break, and then separate the kids and ask what happened.
Are you being too cynical about the government?:There’s only one thing worse than believing that your government always tells the truth and that’s believing that they always lie. If you’re willing to buy into any sort of claptrap because you won’t put anything past your government, then you’re apt to be proven wrong over and over again.
Shouldn’t you be a little more skeptical about those conspiracy theories?: I’ve heard some variation of the following from conspiracy theorists, “How can you just dismiss this conspiracy theory out of hand? There have been conspiracies that have turned to be true before so this one could be true as well!” Yes, there have been conspiracy theories that panned out, but very, very, few of them. In fact, if you simply blew off every conspiracy theory that came down the pike you’d rarely ever be wrong. Because of that, conspiracy theories merit a lot of skepticism.
Before you buy into a conspiracy theory, ask yourself these questions and generally — actually, in almost every case — you’ll find that it doesn’t hold water.