Inexplicably, Al Gore has decided not to run again in 2004. That is probably going to force the Democrats to pin their hopes for 2004 on either John “The Boy Trial Lawyer” Edwards, Howard “Tax and Spend” Dean, John “The Hair” Kerry, or Joe “2nd Banana On A Losing Ticket” Lieberman. Having bad candidates is one thing — but having bad ideas is even worse. Oh and do they ever have bad ideas. Most of them are so positively awful that the Democrats don’t even want to tell people what they are. Have you heard those 7up commercials where they call themselves “the Uncola?” Well in 2002, the Democrats in effect became the “unparty” as they defined themselves on the issues as little more than “not Republicans”.
Sometimes the Democrats even tried to go in two different directions at once. Just recall the number of Democrats who claimed George Bush’s tax cut was the worst thing that ever happened to America. It killed the economy, caused teenagers to get acne, made it rain on people’s picnics, and even stole candy from babies when people weren’t looking. But, when these same Democrats were asked if they were in favor of repealing the tax cut, their spines turned to jelly, their knees buckled and they said, “no.”
So why didn’t the Democrats “stand for anything” in 2002? Well that question begs another question – what policy could the Democrats have run on that would have helped put more Democrats in office? Raising taxes perhaps? How about strict gun control? Oooh, I’ve got it – reparations! The left’s agenda is pure political poison these days other than in a few left-wing outposts like Massachusetts and California. You want to know how bad it’s gotten? After becoming House Minority Leader, ultra left-winger Nancy Pelosi actually claimed she was a “Conservative Catholic” in her first big interview on CNN. Now I know what some of you are thinking, “If it’s that bad for the left out there, how did Bill Clinton get elected to two terms in office?” Well aside from running against George Bush Sr. after he broke his “read my lips, no new taxes” pledge and Bob Dole (enough said), Clinton bent over backwards to give the voters the impression he was a moderate. In fact, the only two major pieces of legislation that were passed during Clinton’s eight years were welfare reform and NAFTA which were both pushed by the GOP. That’s why the Democrats are so desperate to stop Bush’s judges from being confirmed. Even with a Democrat in the White House, liberals can’t get their agenda through. That means the left’s only hope is to fill the nation’s courts with liberal activist judges who’ll legislate from the bench.
Then there are all the little factions that make up the Democrat’s base. The black vote & sizable portions of the Hispanic and Jewish vote, blood sucking trial lawyers, greedy unions, environmentalist-whackos, animal rights nuts, abortion happy feminist nags, and anti-American hippies longing for the sixties. To make their base happy, Democrats either have to support unpopular policies or engage in race based pandering, neither of which pleases the swing voters both parties need to win elections. That leaves the Democrats continually torn between pleasing their base and the general public�and when politicians are torn you know what that means – lots of lying! That’s why we see certain types of commercials every two years�
Voice: Did you know my Republican opponent wants to take away Social Security?
Old Woman Who Looks Like Your Grandmother: No Social Security? But I need that money to buy food and pay the rent. I guess I’ll have to go live in the alley behind the KFC down the street and eat the meat off the bones they toss out.
Voice: The Republicans are going to take away your Medicare too�
Old Woman Who Looks Like Your Grandmother: Oh dear! That means I won’t be able to afford the medicine that stops my seizures. But, I suppose the government needs to give the wealthy another tax break instead. I’ve never been a complainer, I’ll make it through�sniff, sniff�somehow.
Voice: Do you want that woman to die in the street? Huh, is that what you want? What kind of sicko are you? You better vote against that Republican jerk or it’s your fault that woman is going to die! Do you understand? It’ll be your fault!
We get these commercials during every election despite the fact that most members of the GOP would rather eat plutonium than make the seniors in their states furious by cutting Social Security benefits. But while the Democrats have gotten a lot of mileage out of those commercials in the past, they didn’t work very well this year. Know why? George Bush. When most people think of Bush, they think of the guy who stood in the rubble of the WTC with his arm around a firefighter, telling those people that he heard them, the world heard them, and the people that knocked down the WTC were going to hear us all. Who’s going to believe that guy is going to slash anyone’s Social Security, hates the poor, or wants people to breathe dirty air?
Well the Democrats will have to run on the issues in 2004, right? Not necessarily�more likely we’ll see a claim that the Democrats want to cut taxes (it worked for Clinton), and the Democrats will hope for horrible news on the economic or war front they can capitalize on. That’s what today’s Democratic Party has come too – hoping some disaster will befall the country so the voters will be willing to go against their better judgement and select a Democrat. That’s not exactly an ideal situation for a political party to be in but it could be worse. Imagine a campaign based on tax increases, affirmative action, making it easier to file lawsuits, banning handguns, and winding down the war on terrorism. See what I mean? If you’re a Democrat, being the party that “doesn’t stand for anything” never looked so good.