A Message From The Citizens Of The ‘Great Satan’ To The Rest Of The World


Acording to some non-American newspapers, the United States is responsible for most of the pollution in the world. We’re also to blame for floods in Europe, earthquakes in Afghanistan, and if global warming ever actually happens that’ll be our fault as well for not signing up for the totally ineffective Kyoto protocol.

We’re regularly denounced at the UN for not signing treaties that would have a larger negative impact on us than any other nation. We’re accused of wanting to be “above the law” for not recognizing the authority of an international criminal court treaty that we have not ratified and have “unsigned.”

Japan and South Korea resent the soldiers we’ve had in their nations for decades to defend them from their enemies. African leaders denounce America for not giving them enough aid even as their hands are stretched out asking for more. European leaders look down their noses at Americans despite the fact that we came to their rescue multiple times in the last century.

9/11 was even our fault because we made Osama Bin Laden angry by keeping our infidel soldiers on the “holy sand” of Saudi Arabia to keep fellow Muslim Saddam Hussein from invading. We’re constantly told that we have to convince the “Muslim street” that we’re not infidel crusaders who want to continue a centuries old fight with them that ended before the US even became a nation. After more than a decade of trying to make peace between the Israelis and the Palestinians, the Palestinians had a party in the street when their heroes in Al-Queda murdered almost 3,000 Americans.

Well the citizens of the “hyperpower”, “imperialist hegemony”, “Great Satan” or whatever else you want to call us are starting to weary of being the whipping boy for the rest of the planet. In particular, a few things really grind on our nerves.

– The leaders of African nations who’ve hopelessly wrecked their countries complaining that we don’t give them enough money. Maybe if they spent a little more time and effort improving the lives of their citizens and a little less time looking for Western money to sock away in their Swiss bank accounts everyone would be better off.

– European leaders who criticize America to score points with the lefties back home. They might want to start thinking about whether damaging their nation’s relationship with the US is more important than getting a few extra votes from the anti-American crowd in their next election.

– European government officials, columnists, etc, who act as if the United States is the focus of evil in the modern world. Between WW1, WW2, the Marshall Plan, and the Cold War we’ve been pretty good to Europe over the last century or so and treating us like we’re some sort of global menace after all of that is ingratitude of the worst sort.

– Europeans who decry America’s use of force to protect its own citizens from terrorists, but who had no such issues with getting American help to liberate European nations and protect European citizens from harm.

– Nations that sit on the sidelines and carp about how the United States is getting in the way of their unrealistic and utopian version of the way the world works. It’s very easy to complain when other nations take all the risks while your nation reaps the rewards for their actions.

– People who whine that America looks out for its own interests as if that’s not the case for every single nation in the world.

– Any representative of the Saudi government who complains about anything having to do with the US. Considering that we saved Saudi Arabia from Iraq in the Gulf War we had reason to expect a little gratitude. They repaid us by setting up anti-US schools and mosques across the world, by supplying 15 of the 19 Sept. 11 hijackers, and by refusing to let us use our military bases on their soil for an Iraqi invasion. I think we’ve heard enough from the Saudis to last about the next 50 years.

– Mouthpieces for Middle-Eastern dictators who complain about bad press in the US moments before they shill for terrorist supporting nations.

– Out of touch United Nations bureaucrats who try to foist their social science experiments on the whole world in general and the US in particular. The UN may view itself as some sort of ‘world government’ but we view them as a bunch of bumbling incompetents who have no authority to tell us to do anything.

If you want to disagree with something the US does that’s fine with me. But the contrarian & reflexively hostile opposition to almost everything we do has long since gotten old. Especially when it comes from people who take our money, our protection, or who benefit substantially from the things we accomplish without having to bear their fair share of the risk or the costs. Too many people across the world have started to think that getting US support when they’re in trouble is axiomatic. But the next time another “world crisis” occurs (and there will always be a next time), we’re going to be able to ask for the first time since the Revolutionary war, “what did they do for us when we needed their help?” If the answer to that question is “they sat on the sidelines and complained,” then as far as we’re concerned, don’t call us and we won’t call you.

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