The Archives

Jane Fonda Tells Veterans Boycotting Her To “Get A Life.”
12 Apr 2013 3:57 am John Hawkins

Why would any veteran dislike Jane Fonda?
Just because she sided with the enemy during the Vietnam war? Just because she posed at an anti-aircraft battery with people who were killing our troops? Just because she did Tokyo Rose style propaganda broadcasts for people who were torturing American soldiers.

Some people don’t just shrug off treason, although Jane Fonda certainly wishes they would. It’s very bothersome to her to have these veterans complaining every time she gets a movie role. After all, who do they think they are? Just because …

Envirothuggery Hits Malibu
3 Apr 2013 11:41 am Dave Blount

There’s been a terrible mistake. Only the little people are supposed to be sacrificed on behalf of lunatic enviromoonbattery. Not the beautiful people:
Some of Hollywood’s wealthiest stars are battling environmentalists over a $20million plan to save their houses on Malibu’s badly named Broad Beach. Steven Spielberg, Robert Redford, Dustin Hoffman, Goldie Hawn and Pierce Brosnan are among 108 homeowners along the 1.2-mile beach, where houses sell for up to $30million. When most of them were built in the 1970s, the owners had to walk 140 feet in the sand to …

Thousands Sign Petition To Deport Canadian Jim Carrey After Asinine Gun Comments
29 Mar 2013 2:21 am John Hawkins

The only thing that’s bombing worse than Jim Carrey’s new movie, The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, is the Canadian comedian’s foray into gun control. After calling gun owners “Heartless Motherf&ckers,” Carrey made a tired video that mocked Charlton Heston, who died in 2008. None of that sat particularly well with the gun owning public, but Carrey came across as completely ridiculous when he admitted that he had an armed bodyguard.

While some of Carrey’s fans are obviously retaliating by avoiding his new movie in droves and one of his ex-devotees is …

Uh-Oh! Former Fan Of Jim Carrey Sells His Ex-Hero’s Picture On Ebay So He Can Buy A Gun
27 Mar 2013 5:57 am John Hawkins

Jim Carrey made news this week for calling gun owners “Heartless Motherf&ckers” just one day before he admitted that he had an armed bodyguard. This was on top of his outdated, widely panned video making fun of people who care about the 2nd Amendment.

Cold Dead Hand with Jim Carrey from Jim Carrey

Jim Carrey’s digs at gun owners didn’t set well with one of his former fans, who decided to turn the tables on Carrey by selling his autographed photo to raise money to …

One Day After Calling Gun Owners “Heartless Motherf&ckers,” Jim Carrey Admits He Has An Armed Bodyguard
26 Mar 2013 2:54 am John Hawkins

After making news for doing a tired “humor” video mocking gun owners, whom he also called “heartless motherf&ckers,” Jim Carrey announced today on twitter that his armed bodyguard “doesn’t have a hundred rounds in his clip.”

So wait, does that mean that Jim Carrey’s bodyguard is a “heartless motherf&cker?” If he is, what does it say about Jim Carrey that he employs someone like that?

Oh yeah, it says that he’s just another liberal hypocrite who wants special privileges for himself that he believes should be denied to everyone else.

Jim Carrey: Gun Owners Are “Heartless Motherf&ckers”
25 Mar 2013 7:31 am John Hawkins

Don’t you love pampered celebrities like Jim Carrey? Here we have a man who walks around in public with bodyguards. But if one of the little people, like YOU, wants to carry a gun so you can be protected, too, well that’s just ridiculous.

Wow, what would society ever do without Jim Carrey and his funny faces? Why, he deserves to be protected, unlike the rest of you peons out there. If you get raped, robbed, or murdered, well, no big deal. It’s not as if you’re someone important, like …

A Defiant Dance of Power AND Sex
12 Feb 2013 8:36 pm Anna Maria Hoffman

by Andrew Collins
What did you see onstage at the Super Bowl halftime show? According to Patheos.com blogger David Henson, if you saw “a singer wearing too little clothes,” or “a singer selling sex to the masses in a skimpy outfit,” or “an offensive, inappropriate hypersexual display of legs and barely covered unmentionables,” then you didn’t see what was really happening onstage.
The lead-in is provocative and effective, and it helped his article rack up more than 60,000 Facebook hits in just a few days. Clearly he tapped into something that resonated with people, yet he …

The Short Path to a Rodent King’s Doom
24 Dec 2012 9:37 am Dave Blount

Christmas week is notoriously slow, news-wise — so slow that I will now report on Justin Bieber’s hamster. Via TMZ:
FEAR NOT JUSTIN BIEBER FANS … his former pet hamster (ya know, the one he gave away) is now living in the lap of luxury with its new owner … who has vowed to treat the little guy like a tiny rodent king!!! …
We spoke to 18-year-old Tori — huge Bieber fan — who tells us she was shocked when the Biebs randomly offered her the cage … but is excited …

DeVotchKa: Rock Band Stage Show Features Romney Beheading
1 Nov 2012 3:52 pm Warner Todd Huston

At the Boulder Theater in Colorado, the Denver-based rock band DeVotchKa performed a stage show that featured the ritual beheading of Mitt Romney in a pseudo Mayan beheading scene.
The DeVotchKa stage show featured the beheading of Mitt Romney
The October 26 performance of the Day of The Dead-like experience kicked off the concert with stilt-walkers, skeletons, acrobats and Mayanesque, befeathered characters roaming the stage.
The segment culminated in the “ritual beheading” of a band member sporting a Mitt Romney mask.
A medley of DeVotchKa’s hit seems to be a song titled How …

You Have To Admire Lady Gaga’s Professionalism
9 Oct 2012 10:20 am John Hawkins

Lady Gaga isn’t any more talented than a dozen other female singers, she just happened upon the idea of wearing clothes and it caught on. Nice idea, but that doesn’t make her a great musician. Additionally, like most celebrities who dip into politics, she has an ego like an elephant and a brain like a mouse.
Still, you have to give credit where credit is due. Gaga isn’t the sort of pampered diva who’d let a little puking stop her from putting on a good show.
The pop star was in …

Clint Bolick and the Goldwater Institute Quietly Transforming the Country
3 Oct 2012 1:52 pm Rachel Alexander

While national political campaigns and politicians are regularly featured in the news for their accomplishments on the right, one small state-based think tank is quietly grinding away victory after victory. The Goldwater Institute was already a leading state-based think tank when libertarian lawyer Clint Bolick came on board five years ago to launch a litigation division. Since then, Bolick has greatly expanded the reach of the right-leaning think tank, filing lawsuits against all levels of government to protect taxpayers and businesses from government overreach. Bolick’s favorite line, which he says …

“Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee”
8 Sep 2012 6:40 am Craig Newmark

If you haven’t seen it yet, Jerry Seinfeld’s new Web series is pretty good. (The first onestars a 1952 VW Beetle which has . . . wait for it . . . 25 hp.)

Olympian Lolo Jones Scolds NYTimes for Not Supporting Our U.S. Olympic Athletes
10 Aug 2012 8:33 pm Warner Todd Huston

U.S. Olympic Hurdler Lolo Jones was slammed by The New York Times as a woman of little accomplishment, a flimsy girl not sufficiently woman’s libby enough, one that is all show and no go and during an August 8 appearance on NBC’s Today, the hurdler broke down in tears wondering why the U.S. media was so ready to tear competitors down instead of supporting our U.S. Olympians?

For the Times, longtime sports writer Jere Longman seemed to think that Lolo Jones’ image of beauty and grace was a strike against women’s …

Actor Will Smith Loves Taxes, But NOT French Taxes
9 Aug 2012 5:45 pm Warner Todd Huston

Back in May Actor Will Smith recently appeared on a TV show in France when the subject of taxes was brought up. Smith piously proclaimed how he loves taxes because he wants to help his country. But then he was told how much new French President Francois Hollande wants to levy on France and, well, suddenly taxes weren’t so great as far as Smith was concerned.
You see, President Hollande has proposed that anyone that makes over a million Euros should pay a tax rate of 75%. This made Will Smith …

HA! Jenna Jameson Responds to Lefty Haters With “Your Mom” Quips
6 Aug 2012 12:06 pm Matt Vespa

When it comes to responding to despicable left-wing trolls on Twitter, Jenna Jameson certainly knows how to deal with them. Yesterday, Jameson, a successful businesswoman and entrepreneur, simply tweeted that former President George W. Bush didn’t destroy her industry. Well, that caused a conniption fit on the left. With a torrent of hate tweets directed at her, she simply responded with a litany of “your mom” quips. It was genius and Twitchy, as always, reported on the incident.

She doesn’t stop there. She asked a couple of proggie trolls what the inimitable …

Jenna Jameson Speaks Her Mind, Proggies Attack
5 Aug 2012 12:43 pm Matt Vespa

Jenna Jamesone, former adult entertainer and successful businesswoman, tweeted that Bush didn’t destroy her industry, which prompted vicious proggie attacks. Shaneth Varosa, in a particularly vile tweet, mocked Jameson and “her ridiculously loose c**t thinking it’s opinions are worth something. F**king kill yourself.” Stay classy Shaneth. In fact, this just proves, as Breitbart did consistently, the false narrative of the left’s innate tolerance.
Furthermore, given that Shaneth has over 17,000 tweets and less than 400 followers, it appears no one cares much for his opinion either.

I wonder why? I’m just guessing …

Vast Right Wing Conspiracy Part Duh
22 Jun 2012 4:05 pm Michael Fell

Apparently suffering the long term effects of habitual Botox abuse, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi again defied the grounding gravity of logic to concoct a thread bare story trying to tie Wednesday’s contempt of Congress proceedings in the House of Representatives to unproven allegations of voter suppression.
“It is no accident; it is no coincidence that the attorney general of the United States is the person responsible for making sure that voter suppression does not happen in our country, that issues that relate to the civil liberties of the American people …

The Nipple Slip Of Renowned Children’s Book Author, Madonna
12 Jun 2012 2:39 am John Hawkins

When I was in college, Madonna’s book “Sex” was white hot. Unfortunately, it was also very expensive and although I was very curious, there was no way I would have ever dropped $50 on it. However ironically, it turned out that there was a copy of her book in UNC-Charlotte’s library. So, I headed up to the rare book section, checked it out, and sat in the library looking at what I was a bit surprised to find was straight up pornography. It’s hard to explain what a comparable experience …

Riding Charlie Sheen’s Corpse Into The Ground
7 Jun 2012 9:53 am John Hawkins

Charlie Sheen: He’s pumping Tiger Blood, man! He’s winning! He’s a rock star from Mars! He’ll make your face melt off! Wheeeeee! Go to his live shows! Give him a new TV show! This guy is really exciting now! Cheer him on!
That’s in front of the cameras. Behind the cameras, here’s what it’s like:
“You can’t do that much cocaine and work. I didn’t want to be writing a sitcom while my friend died. Or worse, hurt someone else. We couldn’t be complacent. There was a tragedy unfolding right in front …

The Wrath Of Bieber Is UNLEASHED!
28 May 2012 11:18 am John Hawkins

Justin Bieber beat someone up yesterday. That’s like being beaten up by….ehr, what’s worse than being beaten up by Justin Bieber? Michael Cera maybe?

From the Daily Mail
If this is the face you see after you’re hit so hard in the chest you go to the hospital, your man card is revoked.
Sheriff Lt. Robert Wiard says the photographer in question called 911 on Sunday and complained of pain to his chest.
Wiard says the photographer was taken to a hospital where he was treated and released.
That pain? It’s probably a heart attack …

TV Ad: Hold Obama Accountable for Benghazi Scandal

Premium Right Ads

Blogads Right

Previous Features

10 Concepts Liberals Talk About Incessantly But Don’t Understand

7 Political Questions for Republicans Who Support Amnesty

25 Examples Of What America Would Be Like If Everyone Was A Liberal

7 Responsibilities You Have As An American

User Info

Features

Archives Best of RWN Humor John Hawkins Interviews Quotes Special to RWN Polling