The Chase: Why Young Men Hesitate to Pursue Counter Cultural Young Women

by: Anna Maria Hoffman: 

These days, our culture is very hypersexualized, constantly presenting an overly sexualized, aggressive woman as the only desirable image a man should have of a woman. This is largely the result of radical feminism being introduced in our society decades ago, which has told women that they must adopt an aggressive, mannish, and unpleasant demeanor to get ahead and “better” attract men.

As a result, our society has lower standards, and sadly, our country’s dating culture thrives off of lower standards as well. That explains why the hookup culture is on the rise on college campuses and that dating with marriage in mind is generally viewed by many college students as undesirable and “restrictive.”

Given these trends, we often see many young men in our dating culture pursue young women who are not interested in a long-term relationship, who are aggressive, and who unfortunately assume that dressing in a hypersexual way will earn them respect and love from young men. As a result, we see many of these young men and women regret their decisions and become emotionally and psychologically hurt. We also see much of that emotional, psychological hurt resulting from young men, and: now a larger portion of young women, driving the hookup culture, both sadly initiating hookups that lead to nothing but ruin, not fulfillment.

Nevertheless, there is a trend of many young men being hesitant about approaching young women who choose to be counter cultural. These young women are counter cultural, because they choose to champion modesty, desire life-long monogamy through marriage, and refuse to engage in the emotionally scarring hookup culture that objectifies women. Deep down inside, these young men, especially those who want to eventually get married one day, want to be with these kinds of young women. They truly see these young women as women who would make for great wives and mothers. But we see many of them instead approaching young women who are the exact opposite of the young women they truly want to be with in the long run.

Based on what my male friends have said about this trend, many of these young men hesitate about going for counter cultural young women, because they fear: rejection, are afraid of ruining their friendships with these young women, or fear being trapped in the friend zone for good. Also, our culture’s depiction of what young women must be–aggressive and hypersexual–is another reason why many young men might be afraid to approach counter cultural young women. They might assume that every young woman they meet match up with our culture’s depiction of femininity and are thus unapproachable.

For our nation’s dating culture to improve, radical feminism’s influence must be minimized, good dating standards must be introduced in the home and passed onto the next generation, and more young men should courageously approach young women who they genuinely want to be with for life. Our dating culture ‘s standards will only improve if people decide to strengthen them and if more parents teach their children the importance of self-respect and dating with long-term commitment, and eventually marriage, in mind.

This blog post was originally published on: Counter Cultured’s “Lady’s Nook”: column.: 

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