Posts By Author » Amy Alkon

Dim And Her
8 Feb 2012 12:02 am

I’m having a whirlwind romance with a man I met online on Thanksgiving. I moved across the country to live with him on December 20, and we’re now building a life together. The problem is I have a high IQ (137), and he’s very unintelligent and illogical. It’s hard to have a good conversation unless we talk about sex. It’s too late to leave now, so … any advice on how to keep our IQ difference from ripping us apart when things are less new and exciting? I really love …

Code Goo
1 Feb 2012 12:01 am

I’m a 33-year-old nurse in a five-month “friends with benefits” thing with a doctor co-worker. I am only 18 months out of an abusive 10-year relationship and wanted something fun and light. We get along well, but he rarely asks me ahead of time about getting together. I know he has a busy schedule, but this bothers me. He will do anything I ask (give me a ride, buy me a coffee if I work late) but doesn’t make kind gestures without being asked and doesn’t talk about his feelings …

Witchful Thinking
25 Jan 2012 12:02 am

I’m a retired pastor in my 50s. A nearby church wanted my help with their Christmas musical, and I asked my wife of five years, who played bass at my church, to join me. She became angry at this suggestion and said I should do my own thing on Christmas and she’d do hers. She then announced that she’d be spending Christmas Eve with her (single, lonely) ex-boyfriend, staying the night at his place and hiking with him on Christmas Day. I was taken aback. I said this had the …

I Smell A Rut
18 Jan 2012 12:02 am

I just got dumped by a guy who swore he was ready to settle down (after years of serial monogamy). His relationship history reminded me of the man you wrote about recently who had been married and divorced five times and was on relationship number six. Woman number six wrote you, “He’s in his 50s; his marriage-hopping has to stop.” Obviously, she’s fooling herself, but what’s his deal? What’s anyone’s who gets married over and over? — Morbidly Curious
Some model their marriage on their parents’ and some on their parents’ …

Brief-Stricken
11 Jan 2012 12:02 am

A divorced male friend and I recently became “friends with benefits.” However, I’m not receiving the same, uh, level of benefits as he is. He isn’t giving me orgasms from intercourse, and his pleasuring of me is measured in seconds rather than minutes, despite my telling him that this is a problem. (I haven’t felt this pressure before: “You’ve got 60 seconds to orgasm!”) He also keeps reminding me that he doesn’t want any kind of commitment. I get that, and I keep telling him so, but he’s persisted with …

The Cad Catalogue
5 Jan 2012 12:02 am

Three years ago, I was divorced six weeks from a 22-year marriage when I got involved with a married co-worker and persuaded him to divorce his wife for me. He has been married five times and cheated on all of his wives. I have reason to believe he’s still having sex with his ex-wife. I’m not sure what to do. I refinanced my house a few months after meeting him and paid off his and his wife’s $14,000 credit card debt (my idea, to help him out of the marriage). …

Standing Up For Our Eroding Civil Liberties
4 Jan 2012 12:05 am

Our Founding Fathers were a bunch of obnoxious jerks — and I mean that in the most reverent way. They were fiercely opposed to blind obedience to authority and risked their lives to flip it the bird. Oh, how disappointingly — and dangerously — far we’ve fallen. Our constitutional rights are increasingly being eroded, and so many Americans are just standing around blinking like livestock.
This past March, I took a more civilly disobedient approach — which sometimes comes at a price. In my case, $500,000. That’s what a Transportation Security …

Axing A Girl Out
28 Dec 2011 12:02 am

You overlooked the danger when you replied to the woman who was invited on a hiking date by a man she’d had a crush on. You said that he probably got interested because he saw her with her new boyfriend. Well, he could also have wanted to murder her because of that. Every year, there’s news of a female body being found in a remote area — or not found after a disappearance. — Prudent Woman
Recall that this guy spent seven years barely noticing this woman before noticing she had …

Blister Wonderful
21 Dec 2011 12:02 am

I’m starting to have feelings for this guy friend I’ve been fooling around with, but I’m worried he isn’t feeling the same way. He’s stopped short of having full-blown intercourse with me, which I find odd, although I don’t want to have sex yet because I have genital herpes and I’m not ready to tell him. (I take an antiviral drug for this daily, and I’d have him wear protection during intercourse.) Do you think he knows I have herpes? Maybe he just isn’t interested in me romantically and doesn’t …

Her Best Friend’s Waiting
14 Dec 2011 12:02 am

My girlfriend’s best friend is her ex. They broke up six years ago (upon mutual agreement). She swears she’s much happier being his friend and says they both feel they weren’t meant to be romantic partners. Well, she clearly adores the hell out of him, and he’s her go-to guy for her problems (family, career, and probably any issues with me). She respects my opinion, but sometimes I feel she only asks for it so I won’t feel second banana to him. We’ve only been dating eight months, and I …

Pest Wife Regression
7 Dec 2011 12:02 am

Two years ago, my man left his 22-year marriage to be with me, but he told me he loved his former wife and would always want a friendship with her. I accepted that (I’m friends with my ex), but I’m bothered by the amount of contact they have. They do have two adult children and own property together. But, although she’s living with a new partner, she sometimes wants to borrow his car, have him pick up the dogs, or drop off some paperwork. They phone about every other day, …

Give Till It Hertz
30 Nov 2011 2:40 am

For 10 years, this woman and I have had a hot-and-cold long-distance relationship, the temperature of which she’s always controlled. She’s 56; I’m 46. Last year, she felt ready to try for something lasting. She couldn’t afford to travel, so I paid for her flight. She stayed with me for two wonderful, passionate months, and then we vacationed together in February. I paid for her flight, rental car, hotel, and meals. Again, it was very passionate. Last month, we vacationed together again, funded by me. The day she arrived, she …

Snorting Hope
23 Nov 2011 12:02 am

Snorting Hope
I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years. The first year was rocky. He was selling drugs, got addicted, and went to prison. Three months after getting out, he relapsed. I persuaded his mother to send him to rehab, and afterward I found us an apartment, where we’ve been for six months. He has remained drug-free, helps with cooking and cleaning, and pays half the rent and bills. His job just got cut back to 16 hours a week. He has applied for a handful of positions but isn’t …

Slipping Beauty
16 Nov 2011 12:03 am

I’m in a great relationship of seven months. My boyfriend and I never get sick of each other. We respect each other and are there for each other, and we talk very openly, even when we’re upset. His ex-girlfriend is part of our group of friends. She is thin and very pretty. I know I’m attractive, but I’m struggling to lose these 10 pounds I put on in college. Also, she’s super-sweet, and she and my boyfriend broke up because he cheated on her. He told her right away and …

Flee Circus
9 Nov 2011 12:02 am

I have a good relationship with my boyfriend of a year except for how he ignores me when he’s stressed. The first time this happened, he disappeared for a week and didn’t respond to texts or voicemails. He later explained he’d been swamped with work and apologized repeatedly. Last weekend, he again disappeared for a week. After I texted and left voicemails, he finally texted, “Work is big right now.” He has told me he likes me because I don’t complain or try to get his attention when he’s busy. …

Whiff The Wrong Man
2 Nov 2011 12:02 am

I admire that you often add research to your columns, so I thought I’d ask you about an article I read on birth control pills. Apparently, taking the pill can cause the “wrong” man to smell good to you — a man you might not be into once you’re off the pill. Unfortunately, I experience severe mood swings when I’m not taking the pill — uncontrollable rages for about a week a month. But, now I’m worried that I’ll choose a partner I’ll lose interest in reproducing with when I’m …

All Work And No Foreplay
26 Oct 2011 12:02 am

All Work And No Foreplay
My husband and I are entrepreneurs, developing a new product. We’re both working long hours. He’s miserable because he has no time for his art (painting), and our sex life is in shambles. There isn’t a lot of blame or anger. We simply go about our entire days with little or no flirting and fall into bed completely exhausted at night. Even if we crave sex, we’re too tired. We kiss goodnight and promise it’ll be different tomorrow or on the weekend, but it never is, and I …

Prince Harming
19 Oct 2011 12:02 am

I feel like a disappointment to my boyfriend of seven months. I’m 28; he’s 35 and Mr. Smart. He is a Brit and was a top student at Cambridge. He says everyone expected him to become Prime Minister, but he decided to buck their expectations and become a portrait painter. Although he earns a good living, I believe he considers himself a failure compared with the wealthy Brits commissioning his paintings. He says I’d be “more attractive” to him if I wrote for a media blog, as it would help …

Helen Of Toy
11 Oct 2011 12:02 am

My wife of three years complains that I’m not romantic anymore. In the beginning, I did romantic stuff all the time. I still love her very much, but I guess I’m subconsciously reacting to the fact that I’ve nabbed her forever. (There’s definitely something to be said about “the thrill of the chase.”) How can I let her know I still care? — Comfortably Wed
Your wife could be a mix of Angelina Jolie, Madame Curie, and Sue Johanson (the cute little old lady sexpert from TV), and the thrill of …

Girl With A Wait Problem
5 Oct 2011 12:03 am

I met a really great girl before deploying to Iraq. We’ve gotten as close as two people can while physically separate, but she is sexually frustrated to the max and wants to have an unemotional hookup. She suggests we each have a “last fling” before we start our relationship (when my deployment ends in 60 days). Well, I’m in an all-male unit, and when I’m home, I want to be with her. She’s attending a wedding this weekend (single guys, hotel rooms, open bar, etc.). She says not to worry, …

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