What do you mean you're against gay marriage?!?!? What are you? Some kind of Bible thumping, hate mongering, bigoted, monster who wants to deny gay people the right to marry? What about their civil rights, huh? Why do you want to deny gay people the same rights that you heterosexuals take for granted? What about equal rights huh, huh, huh?
So do you give in? You do? Great! We'll just get a few activist judges to side with us -- we can't risk letting the voters or legislatures actually have a say here because they might not go the right way -- and there we go! We've shown that marriage can be whatever we want it to be!
Oh and by the way, take a look at this story from India...
"A 25-year-old Indian man has married his 80-year-old grandmother because he wanted to take care of her.
"I felt she needed extra care as she is old. I can look after her better as a husband than as a grandson," Narayan Biswas told Reuters.
"As a husband, I am with her all the time, to care for her," said the high school graduate, who farms rice fields and also works as a tutor.
The grandmother, her back bent with age, says she is "happy" with her young husband whom she married in a traditional Hindu ceremony near Panchpara, a village 100 miles west of Calcutta. Her first husband died more than 30 years ago."
So...do you support letting people marry their grandmothers? No?!?!? What are you? Some kind of Bible thumping, hate mongering, bigoted, monster who wants to deny people the right to marry their grandmothers? What about their civil rights, huh? Why do you want to deny family members the same rights that you non-related people take for granted? What about equal rights huh, huh, huh?
In all seriousness, some of you may think this is farfetched, but it's not. Let me refer you back to a quote from Antonin Scalia's dissent in the Lawrence v. Texas case -- that's the one that cleared the way for gay marriage by the way -- so you can see what I'm talking about...
"State laws against bigamy, same-sex marriage, adult incest, prostitution, masturbation, adultery, fornication, bestiality, and obscenity are likewise sustainable only in light of Bowers' validation of laws based on moral choices. Every single one of these laws is called into question by today's decision; the Court makes no effort to cabin the scope of its decision to exclude them from its holding."
Anyone who thinks that gay marriage can become the law of the land without eventually leading to polygamy and family members being allowed to marry as well is just kidding himself...
I know you're not going to get this unless you're a Simpsons junkie, but here's the first thing I thought of when I saw John Kerry trying to look "oh so hip" with his snowboard....
Then after a Secret Service agent accidentally got in Kerry's way when there were reporters with cameras around, Kerry fell down and said "sharply"...
"I don't fall down," the "son of a b*itch knocked me over."
What a way to treat a guy who's willing to take a bullet for you if that's what it takes to save your life. That Kerry is a really classy guy...
Massachusetts Replaces Iraq In Axis Of Evil By William Grim
Secretary of State Colin Powell announced this morning that Massachusetts has replaced Iraq in the Axis of Evil. He stated that while there are no immediate plans for the United States to invade Massachusetts, America is closely monitoring the Massachusetts situation and may ask the UN Security Council to impose tougher sanctions on the rogue state.
Massachusetts strongman Barney Frank welcomed Secretary Powell’s announcement. “We are looking forward to engaging the United States in battle and to defeating the great Satan America.”
Residents of New Hampshire, however, are calling for the immediate invasion of Massachusetts by the United States. Guerillas from Massachusetts have recently been slipping over the border and raising the taxes of New Hampshirites during the night.
“It’s a humanitarian disaster of monumental proportions,” said New Hampshire citizen Bob “Bucky” McNulty who recently discovered that Massachusetts insurgents had imposed a 110% state withholding tax on his job as a policeman in the town of Granite Flats, New Hampshire.
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld has rushed Army Rangers to protect American cities that border Massachusetts. “We aren’t going to let ‘Old’ New England get away with any more crimes against humanity,” Secretary Rumsfeld assured the residents of New Hampshire. “America stands tall with New England against the rogue state of Massachusetts.”
If you enjoyed this satire by William Grim, you can read more of his work at Broken Newz.
Earlier this week, I pointed out a DU thread dedicated to discussing dirty tricks for the 2004 election.
Well today, I found a similar thread that was aimed at someone who had the audacity to have a license plate that identified him as a member of the GOP. And there were plenty of Duer's apparently outraged, outraged I say, at the idea that Republicans were driving on the same roads as Democrats! Here are some of their suggestions about how to get this eeevvvviiiilllll Republican (besides filing a false police report claiming the guy was driving recklessly)...
SCRUBDASHRUB:OK, this is juvenile but this is how fed up I am. I need to watch it because I don't want to wind up getting shot, but I was driving to work and some idiot drove by me on the expressway whose license plate read 1GOP1 (I might add, he was driving completely arrogantly (no signalling, etc...typically of the party he's so proud of).
I waited until he got far enough ahead of me and promptly flipped him the one finger salute, then gave him three fingers to spell "W" and the thumbs down symbol.
Jack @ss...
boobooday:"Don't get shot. But really, he deserved it. It's like smoking. We have to make it socially unacceptable to be a Republican.
That's what they tried to do to the word "liberal." Time to ATTACK BACK!!"
nicecakes: Sure thing. Time to go beyond politics and get personal to start a new civil war! After enough victories we will be the only party and one party rule will rool!
MadProphetMargin:"That's not juvenile. Juvenile would have meant following him to a gas station, and "improving" his license plates when he went in to pay.
Try this one: On a Friday, after working hours, put a crack & peel sign on your local republican headquarter's (8.5X11 crack & peel inkjet paper is available at any major office supply company) front door. Have the sign read "Whites only - Blacks please use rear entrance."
With any luck, it will remain up until Monday. For additional fun, call the local papers and complain about what you "just saw".
MPM,
Master election prankster."
lastknowngood:"Call DMV with tag # and get his address then send off for some gay porn to be shipped to his house. Just one of my little evil ideas to use on arrogant christens and prudes."
Quote Of The Day From A "Foreign Leader" Who Endorses Kerry
Although the Iranians, French, and North Koreans are reputed to be big fans of Kerry campaign, to the best of my knowledge, there have been two "foreign leaders" who have actually endorsed him at this point.
The first was of course Spain's new prime minister Jose Luis Rodriquez Zapatero who only got into office after receiving a helping hand from Al-Qaeda.
"Former Malaysian Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad endorsed Democratic contender John Kerry in the U.S. presidential race Thursday, saying he would keep the world safer than President Bush.
I think Kerry would be much more willing to listen to the voices of people and of the rest of the world," Mahathir, who retired in October after 22 years in power, told The Associated Press in an interview.
"But in the U.S., the Jewish lobby is very strong, and any American who wants to become president cannot change the policy toward Palestine radically"
Wow! How exciting it must be for Kerry to have pulled an endorsement from "a widely respected statesman" like Mahathir Mohamad! Why his big speech at the Organization of the Islamic Conference in October of last year made headlines across the world! Here's a little snippet from his Senator Kerry's newest fan!
"''The Europeans killed 6 million Jews out of 12 million, but today the Jews rule the world by proxy,'' Mahathir, a widely respected statesman in Asia and the developing world, said in a speech as he became chairman of the 57-nation Organization of the Islamic Conference. ''They get others to fight and die for them,'' he said.
...Mahathir said Muslims had achieved ''nothing'' in more than 50 years of fighting Israel.
''They survived 2,000 years of pogroms not by hitting back but by thinking,'' Mahathir said. ''They invented socialism, communism, human rights and democracy so that persecuting them would appear to be wrong, so that they can enjoy equal rights with others.''
Mahathir said the world's 1.3 billion Muslims ''cannot be defeated by a few million Jews,'' but suggested the use of political and economic tactics instead of violence to achieve a ''final victory.''
To his credit, Kerry had his foreign policy adviser Randy Beers aim a slap at Mahathir and did his best to nip the whole "foreign leaders" thing in the bud...
"Kerry "rejects any association" with Mahathir, "an avowed anti-Semite (search) whose views are totally deplorable," said Kerry foreign policy adviser Rand Beers in a statement.
“This election will be decided by the American people, and the American people alone. It is simply not appropriate for any foreign leader to endorse a candidate in America’s presidential election. John Kerry does not seek, and will not accept, any such endorsements,” Beers said."
Of course, knowing Kerry, if he does have a "foreign leader" endorse him who isn't a dictator, terrorism beneficiary, or world class anti-Semite, he'll probably flip-flop on what Beers said and start trumpeting the endorsement to the world.
If you ask me, the GOP should actually make use of some of these endorsements in a campaign commercial. Just check out this magnificent ad that was used against Jimmy Carter in 1980. It worked before and I think it would be effective again.
Was John Kerry Present At A VVAW Vote On Whether To Assassinate US Senators?
As per usual, the same mainstream press that spent weeks obsessing over the flimsy & bogus charges that George Bush was "AWOL" from the National Guard has for the most given John Kerry a free ride on his Vietnam protestor days. But there's a story percolating on the right side of the net about Kerry's last days in the Vietnam Veterans Against the War that is so big that I don't think the liberal press will be able to continue to ignore it for much longer.
It seems that back in mid-November of 1971, the VVAW actually sat down and had a vote on whether to -- get this -- ASSASSINATE US SENATORS. Fortunately, this group of soldiers voted against slaughtering members of Congress.
Interestingly enough, it looks increasingly likely that John Kerry -- despite his denials -- attended these meetings, voted against murdering the Senators in question, and then quit the VVAW without informing anyone of what happened.
According to Thomas H. Lipscomb, 2 members of the VVAW, Randy Barnes & Terry Du-Bose, both said Kerry was present at the meeting. Barnes said Kerry resigned after voting against the plot which was described by VVAW member of Scott Camil as follows...
“My plan was that, on the last day we would go into the [congressional] offices we would schedule the most hardcore hawks for last — and we would shoot them all. I was serious.”
Furthermore, "Vietnam War historian and supporter of Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry," Gerald Nicosia, has actually provided FBI files to CNSNews that show Kerry was at the meeting...
"Kerry was at the meeting, Nicosia insisted, pointing to FBI files and the minutes from the VVAW meeting, which he has obtained. "The minutes of the meeting -- November 12th through the 15th -- it's got John Kerry there, it's got John Kerry resigning there on the third day," Nicosia said.
Nicosia provided CNSNews.com with a copy of the FBI's redacted files of that November 1971 VVAW meeting. The files refer to the fact that Kerry had "resigned for 'personal reasons.'"
Folks, there are a lot of questions about this issue that need to be explored in detail by the mainstream press. For example...
-- Did Kerry attend that meeting or not?
-- If Kerry was there, why have his spokesmen denied he was present?
-- If he attended, why didn't he inform the authorities that his group had considered assassinating US Senators?
-- Did the VVAW vote on other assassination plots while Kerry was a leader or member of the organization?
-- What were the vote totals?
-- If Kerry attended, what did he say in the meetings?
This is serious issue and not something that should be just shrugged off because it happened 30 years ago. If a man who is running for the Presidency was part of a group that seriously considered assassinating US Government officials, that's something voters absolutely should know about before they decide which candidate they're going to back in November.
It's bad enough that the left is trying to use activist judges to subvert the Democratic process and make gay marriage the law of the land despite the fact that there's currently not a state in the union where it can win at the ballot box. But, do they have to stoop to trying to foist their agenda on 6-year-olds?
"The parents of a first-grader are fuming over the book their daughter brought home from the school library: a children's story about a prince whose true love turns out to be another prince.
Michael Hartsell said he and his wife, Tonya, couldn't believe it when Prince Bertie, the leading character in "King & King," waves off a bevy of eligible princes before falling for Prince Lee.
The book ends with the princes marrying and sharing a kiss. "I was flabbergasted," Hartsell said. "My child is not old enough to understand something like that, especially when it is not in our beliefs."
Here's the principal's response to the parent's complaint about this sort of book being made available to their 6-year-old...
"What might be inappropriate for one family, in another family is a totally acceptable thing," said Elizabeth Miars, Freeman's principal.
Oh I see -- so as long as there's some family out there that thinks the book is appropriate, it's OK. Why do I suspect that sort of argument would only apply to books like "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe Malfunction" & "How the Republicans killed Santa," but not to a book that might suggest gay marriage is wrong?
School libraries aren't the place for political agendas and this book absolutely does not belong on the shelves at any public school....
Bush: Foreign Leaders Want Me to Fix Kerry's Wagon By Scott Ott
In the wake of claims by Democrat presidential candidate John Forbes Kerry that foreign leaders hope he wins the White House, President George Bush today said "unnamed foreign leaders told me they want me to clean Kerry's clock, you know, to fix his wagon."
"They can't go out and say this publicly," Mr. Bush said, "but boy they look at you and say, 'You've got to pummel this wishy-washy appeaser. You've got to spank him with the buckle end of the belt'. Of course, I can't tell you who said that, but them foreigners want me to put a hurt on him."
Mr. Bush, like Mr. Kerry, spends hours every day chatting with foreign leaders to find out what kind of American foreign policy will be most popular with them. And while Mr. Kerry speaks fluent French thanks to childhood summers spent at a family estate in Brittany, Mr. Bush speaks Spanish and Pig Latin, which he calls "the new Esperanto...the global language of diplomacy."
"You wouldn't believe some of the things my foreign buddies have told me about Enator-say Erry-kay," said Mr. Bush. "It's all on the Q.T., of course."
If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface.
It has been more than 3 months since I ranked My Favorite 41 Blogs Of 2003 so I thought it was about time to do it again.
As the quarter has progressed some blogs have of course moved up as others have dropped based on how often I visit them, how much I like what I see when I get there, how often the blogs are updated, etc, etc. As per usual, do keep in mind that these sort of lists change frequently over time based on a variety of factors. So don't sweat it if your blog didn't get included....
A Radical Islamists' 11 Step Guide To Using The Toilet
Somebody must have forgotten to send the radical Islamist Brits over at Al-Muhajiroun the memo about Islam being a "religion of peace". I say that because they have a bombed out pic of the White House on their front page and they have a "live discussion" coming up on Saturday that doesn't exactly sound like the sort of thing Ghandi would approve of...
"This Saturday's LIVE talk on Paltalk will discuss one of the greatest forgotten obligations in Islaam - Hating false religions. Allaah (swt) orders the believers to hate all other religions, way of lives, creeds, doctrines and beliefs that contradict with Islaam, and one cannot be Muslim without to declare animosity and hatred towards kufr, bid'ah, shirk and nifaaq (Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, Sikhism, Buddhism, Democracy, Freedom etc.)."
See? The radical Islamists really do hate us for our freedom.
But, I must admit, as someone who has never before pondered the theological implications of "wee-weeing" or "going #2," the thing that really caught my eye was the 11 step guide to using the toilet.
Here are a few of the highspots...
-- "Be careful of the 3 cursed things, urinating, defecating, (and flatulating) and spitting (with phlegm) in any sources (rivers, seas, oceans, wells etc) and in the middle of the road (where people walk) and from under the shade." Abu Dawood 26, Ibn Majah 328"
-- "IT IS FORBIDDEN TO URINATE IN WATER."
-- "You enter the toilet by the left, and leave by the right. (Foot)"
-- "IT IS FORBIDDEN TO USE THE RIGHT HAND TO CLEAN YOURSELF.
Because everything with karama is done with the right, and anything with no karama, you do with the left.
Abu Qatada: "The Prophet (saw) said: "If anyone is urinating, he should not touch his private parts with his right hand, nor make istinja with the right. Nor have tanaffus (blowing in the food.)""
-- "AL ISTINJA WAL ISTIJMAR (CLEANING BY WATER AND STONE)
Cleaning after urinating
- Shake it 3 times
- Dry with 3 stones (Istijmar)
(Or anything dry and absorbent)
- Wash it (Istibrar)
- Dry it
After Defecating
- Remove all faeces
- Dry the area with 3 stones
- Wash it
- Dry it (not necessary just for comfort)"
No wiping with the right hand? Using stones for toilet paper? Are there really people doing this right now in America? I mean does Louis Farrakhan have a bucket of rocks beside of a dry toilet in his mansion or is this just something they do out in the sticks in Sudan & Saudi? Enquiring minds want to know...
Hey you! Yes you with the baby! How dare you destroy the environment! It's bad enough that you'd bring a child into this world who'll be breathing air and drinking water that could be better used by the rare snot sucker mussel or the three eyed butt picking sloth! But oh, oh, oh how could you put DIAPERS on that little rugrat! Why can't you take the advice of the ecoextremists (extremism in defense of the endangered dung eating vomit beetle is no vice) over at Grist Magazine about diapers? Just ignore the disparaging comments from the people at ecoNOT in this article (I bet they have electricity in their houses and don't even drive solar powered cars!)...
"...Umbra Fisk, official "advice columnist" for Grist Magazine--a leading environmentalist e-publication--is just bloated with helpful notions for the eco-wannabes who are obsessed with toilet issues
On February 12, 2004, the husband of an expectant mom wrote Umbra with a moral dilemma. "Due to prodding by my wife, I have begun to think about things such as diapers," wrote Jason from the eco-conscious enclave of Denver. "Babies make a lot of boom-boom [ecoNOT readers: I am not making this up], and wrapping it all up in a bundle of plastic diaperness, tossing that in a plastic sack, and then tossing the lot in a landfill seems eco-unfriendly. And reusable diapers are definitely parent-unfriendly, insists my wife. I have seen some all-cotton and paper disposable diapers, but at $1 a pop, I'd have to sell the child to pay for the diapers. Besides, I can't imagine anything biodegrades 100 feet down in a landfill. Since my wife has completely vetoed reusable cotton, what are some options to lessen the impact of my baby's bodily functions on our Earth?"
We are truly inspired that Jason's main concern is not for the comfort of his baby, nor for the convenience of the baby's mother, but for the harmful impact that his baby may have upon Mother Earth. Such priorities deserve serious concern, and ever-helpful Umbra had this brilliant suggestion: "What about no diapers?"
She explains: "The disposable vs. reusable diaper fight is in a stalemate for the foreseeable future. (And it sounds as though mom-to-be has negged the reusable route anyway.)...The no-diaper idea is not mine to claim. People around the world who have no access to diapers manage to raise children, and a small group of parents in diaper-rich countries have decided to follow their lead. Around here [in the aromatic offices of Grist?], it's called 'elimination communication' or 'diaper-free.' The concept is logical and simple: Infants give recognizable signs of imminent peeing and pooping; it's possible to learn your infant's signs; infant pee isn't frightening; and if you train your kid to ignore their outputs, you'll just have to go back and retrain them when traditional potty-training time arrives...Parents and caregivers need to be able to pay close attention to the child, hold him or her most of the time, and--obviously-- be comfortable being unusual. If you think you might fit the bill, there are gobs of resources on the web for this retro cutting-edge environmentally friendly scheme. Check out Natural-Wisdom.com for starters. Be the first in your neighborhood!"
Yes, be the first in your neighborhood to sit your little naked curtain climber on top of a bucket for half an hour while hoping not to get splashed with his urine or watery feces. Who says going to bizarre extremes to protect "Mother Earth" isn't a blast?
Al Qaeda Opens First Embassy in Madrid By Scott Ott
Spain's newly-elected socialist prime minister today declared the start of a "new era of protection from terror" as he cut the ribbon at the grand opening of the al Qaeda embassy in downtown Madrid.
The building, formerly known as the U.S. Embassy, will house the offices and "manufacturing facilities" of the global religious social services organization headed by renowned philosopher Usama bin Laden.
"Spain's involvement in the war on terror caused the recent train station bombings," said Prime Minister-elect José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero. "Now that the Spanish people have elected a socialist government, and embraced al Qaeda's diplomats, we have nothing to fear. Al Qaeda has promised to protect us from extremists like those at the U.S. White House and Pentagon."
Mr. Zapatero said he was "pleasantly surprised at al Qaeda's reasonable pricing for high-quality protection."
If you enjoyed this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface.
Can Al-Qaeda Force The Sick Men Of Europe To Capitulate? We Will See
I wasn't going to comment on the 3/11 massacre in Spain because pretty much everything I wanted to say has already been said. Al-Qaeda murdered 200+ Spaniards and was apparently rewarded for it by the Spanish voters just as they planned. Jose Maria Aznar's pro-American, pro-Bush government had a healthy lead before the attacks according to most (but not all) accounts I've seen, but lost the election because of the terrorist attacks to the America shunning, anti-Bush Socialist Party.
Was this a huge victory for Al-Qaeda? Yes.
Will this probably lead to more terrorist attacks across Europe? Sure.
Could this lead to terrorist attacks aimed at the US in an attempt to influence voters? That's entirely possible although I don't believe it would work here.
Will the ETA terrorist attacks in Spain become much more devastating? I'm sure there are homegrown terrorists all over Spain right saying, "If it worked for Al-Qaeda, it can work for us. We just haven't been thinking big enough".
But in retrospect, is anyone really all that surprised by Spain's capitulation to Al-Qaeda and would anyone be surprised if this same tactic worked all over Western Europe? Well, you shouldn't be. Spain, like the rest of Western Europe -- Brits exclused for the moment -- is in decline. Western European economies are choked by regulation, tariffs, high taxes, socialism, & massive government spending, their militaries are mediocre, their populations are declining, & they've lost confidence in the Western culture and traditions that helped make them successful in their first place.
The Ottoman Empire used to be known as the "sick man of Europe," but now all of Western Europe -- with the exception of the Brits -- is sick and is therefore capable of being rolled by the likes of Al-Qaeda. Unfortunately, Al-Qaeda must now be aware of that because of their "success" in Spain. Therefore, I suspect that over the next year or two, Western European nations will regrettably become high priority targets for Al-Qaeda because of Spain's dedition in the face of terror. And whether Western Europe finds its backbone or drops to its knees as the Spaniards did, they will probably have to wade through an ocean of blood before the war on terrorism is over.
All I can say is that America -- at least George Bush's America -- is determined to take the fight to civilization's enemies and kill them in THEIR HOMES, where THEY LIVE, before they can do it to us. Every terrorist who we kill overseas is one less terrorist who can fly a plane into an American building or plant a bomb on a European train. Since the terrorists are going to come for Western Europeans whether they crawl on their bellies like the people of Spain or stand shoulder to shoulder with us like the Brits, why not stand tall?
The Democratic Underground Post Of The Day: We Too Must Become Nazis
I always love to see what the Democratic base is up to -- don't you? That's why I enjoy heading over to the Democratic Underground to see what the lefties are talking about. Well, today some of the folks at the DU are taking page out of John Kerry supporter Moby's book and planning out some dirty tricks for the 2004 election....
ReadTomPaine:As we’ve heard again and again recently, if we are going to beat this bunch of rule breaking GOP misanthropes, we’re going to have to start fighting as dirty as they do. I started this thread for one reason, to get everyone’s ideas on a list of things we as Democrats can consider to stop the takeover of this country. This isn’t going to be a thread for the squeamish, or for the ideologically pure. Best to steer clear if that describes you.
Here are half a dozen ideas to get the ball rolling.
1) Get Republicans fired at your workplace, or fire them yourself if you can – In the belief that all activism starts with the grass roots, do us all a favor, and fire your Republican employees this week. There are legitimate reasons to fire virtually any employee, so avail yourself of them. Not only will it quit the gloating you’re hearing around the office, it’ll stop those donation checks they are getting ready to write. Might also teach them a bit of humility regarding the poor and the disadvantaged. They can be the “Pioneers” of “Unemployment Window A”
2) Pretend to be a Republican, and then cut down the next Republican that you have a conversation with. - The more public/crowed the place you do this, the better. Use whatever remarks you know are sure to make the intended impression. “You’re no better than the liberal scum you claim to hate… get back into the kitchen… Just wait till we win next year and toss peons like you into the field or the workhouse… People in your income bracket don’t have the right to be Republican or vote etc.” If you need talking points, just observe in a Yahoo political chat room for a few minutes and you have all the right wing bile that you can use and quite possibly all that you can stand.
3) Create, plant and disseminate widely “news stories” that discredit GOP policies – A good way to do this is to print out stories in the visual style of a major newspaper or magazine (don’t use the logo or other copywrited material, however) and theme them similarly to the ones that targeted John McCain’s platform last presidential election. Make sure not to slander individuals directly. Leave stacks of the printouts where people are certain to find them – i.e. supermarkets, coffee houses, bars, community centers etc. As in #2 make sure to write these from the right wing perspective, for maximum effect on the target audience. Avoid digital media, as it’s too easy to fact check, not that most GOP voters care to check these things anyway.
4) Contact the IRS and anonymously tip them off regarding prominent GOP contributors in your area. – Lets face it, they are likely tax evaders in any case (that’s why they are GOP), so might as well have them go thru an audit and feel a bit of what it’s like to have a hostile government prying into their affairs. The tax money you shake free will be a little payback to your community for the egregious tax cut they undoubtedly are enjoying.
5) Make sure that you’re the only ride on voting day for a group of hard right types who live out of the way, and then don’t show up. – This works best in low population density areas and poor right wing communities. Cultivate a group of right wing friends and make sure they depend on you for the ride on Election Day. Then don’t show up. Every vote they miss is an uncontested vote on the blue side of the aisle. The right needs a taste of Florida 2000.
6) Impersonate Linda Tripp. – Whisper into the ear of GOP associates to encourage and get dirty laundry regarding their improprieties, and then make sure that information gets into the wrong hands. It’s hard to brag about family values or think about politics when you’re in a divorce court.
Are you really serious about winning the culture war? Do you mean it when you say it’s time to fight fire with fire? Then channel that anger and let’s hear some ideas. Given the thin skin of most conservative ideologues, it won’t take much to have them running far away from such policies and tactics so we can all enjoy proper, principled political discourse in the country again. First, however, they need to be taught that fighting dirty burns them as much as it burns anyone.
BTW- if you want to take action beyond the intellectual consideration of these ideas, please do so on your own. This thread is meant for the mental exercise of these ideas. Don’t involve DU.
T Wolf:you just know you are going to get flamed for this by the "we don't do that" crowd. But, you have to break a few eggs...
In a perfect (or even something a little further from hell) world, reasoned debates would produce informed decisions by the electorate. But we live in Amerika, where cash is god and reason be d@mned.
So, I heartily endorse the "by any means necessary" approach because it is the only way we have any chance against the repukes.
To paraphrase Barry Goldwater, street-fighting in defense of Democracy is not a crime.
Book Lover Interesting that no one has flamed this thread yet...
I thought folks would really get angry at these suggestions, but when I started scrolling down, I didn't find that at all.
lovedems:I am particulary fond of #4.
Maybe we could land a few in prison! Let the frog walks begin.
liberalnproud: I like it alot!!
I'm tired of being honest and truthful. Get's you absolutely nowhere. Good guys do not always win, they hardly ever win. Truth does not always prevail, in fact in hardly ever does. Justice is never served! I'M MAD AS HELL!!!! I AM NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!
calimary:Those are good tactics if you're somehow involved in party machinery
so you can get phone numbers to use.
There's other street stuff, too. Wherever you see a pro-bush or one of those simpering "America Love Her or Leave Her" stickers, THAT'S the place to plaster a "STOP BUSH" or "Impeach Bush/Cheney" or "Bush Knew" or "Bush Cheated" or "Friends Don't Let Friends Vote Republican." (Although, that one's a little long. For the sake of all the drive-by traffic, shorter and sweeter is better.)
OR: For us females - and especially for those of you/us who do have access to phone numbers - if I knew a rethug with big bucks and power within the local party, I'd call his house and ask for him in my smokiest, sexiest voice. When the wife answered, I'd get a little evasive and then hang up. Yeah, I know. Icky.
I know some of this is sh*tty. But that's the way THEY want to play it. And that's the game as THEY have already defined it. All we're doing is leveling the playing field. The only way to beat a bully is to bully them back. Confront them. Give them a dose of their own medicine. That's all they understand. One poster here once lambasted me for lying and deceit when I did the "stealth rethug" game on Orrin Hatch's office. My response: you have to speak to them in a language they'll understand.
If they can embrace Machiavelli, so should we. It's about time that strategy was put to work on behalf of the GOOD GUYS for a change. Do we want to keep fighting pit bulls with guinea pigs?
MCVet:The Republicans are Nazis....In order to defeat them, we too must become Nazis.
tedoll78: I used to be an "I-won't-do-that" person, but now I want to win and prevent the major harm that the GOP would do. In the end, having more liberal leaders in power will save the country and world from more heartache/chaos/destruction/etc; the change for the positive worldwide will more than pay-back for these tactics.
Like someone above said, let's break some eggs.
My starting proposals:
1) Hand-out faulty polling locations & directions in GOP-heavy voting districs. Let's see how they like it for a change.
2) Go door to door as a GOP volunteer with absentee ballots; the GOP loves to vote absentee, right? And then throw the filled-out ballots away. Either that, or give them a faulty ballot with a bad address on the envelope, and then they won't vote on election day since they'd think they've already voted.
3) Volunteer for a GOP phone bank operation and talk dirty to old people on the phone. Think of the most obscene, anus-licking things you can comprehend, and go for it! And be sure to identify yourself as a Bush supporter.
4) Wear an 'I love george w bush' t-shirt in public and act like a major ass. Moon people, fart loudly, call people offensive names. Here's a favorite: Go to football games where the Army is playing and accuse the other team's fans of being unpatriotic for rooting against the Army. In other words, be absurd!
5) When a polling organization calls, give answers such that they reflect very very very poorly on the nation's condition. Tell them you're unemployed, or tell them that you make <$8000 a year.
6) Panhandle in GOP/swing neighborhoods where it isn't illegal. Get as many people as you can to join you; create the image of crisis. Hold-up a sign saying that you were downsized, or that your job was sent overseas. If you're a veteran, empahsize your loss of benefits.
7) Drop-off a stack of fliers at veterans' halls, hospitals, etc detailing the betrayal of the Bush administration. And, if possible, ask them if they're enjoying their tax cuts.
I just thought of these seven off the top of my head. Surely we can come-up with some creative strategies for making the GOP's image as irrespectable as possible!
Hat tip to Henry Hanks from Croooow Blog for pointing this thread out to me.
***Update #1***: This thread is actually from Oct of 2003, not from "today" as I suggested earlier. Somehow or another, I missed the dates on this one when I went through it the first time...
RWN Is Mentioned By John Leo At U.S. News & World Report
Much thanks to John Leo over at U.S. News & World Report for giving RWN a nice plug in his Sunday column about the 9/11 family members complaining about the original Bush ads...
"One of the conservative bloggers, John Hawkins at RightWingNews.com, figured out early what was happening. He pointed out that in the big Associated Press story on the alleged furor, "5 out of 6 people interviewed had an ax to grind with George Bush." Monica Gabrielle, who called the ad "despicable," is a Bush-basher who turned up on at least nine news sites. David Potorti, who was also quoted in many stories, said last October, "I feel like the foreign policy of the Bush administration is almost like a second assault on us." Readers and viewers were not told about these anti-Bush sentiments in stories about the ads."
It's nice to get a little mainstream media attention once in a while especially from a terrific columnist like John Leo...
Kerry Named Spokesman For National Waffle Council William Grim
Washington, DC - Senator John Kerry, the Democrat candidate for President, has just been named as the official spokesman for the National Waffle Council, the lobbying arm of the Association of Pre-Prepared Frozen Waffles (APPFW). Senator Kerry will be featured on print and television ads to help promote the sale of pre-prepared frozen waffles, the sales of which have been severely hurt in the past year with the rise of the carbohydrate-shy Atkins diet.
“Yeah, Senator Kerry waffles on the issues so much and speaks out of both sides of his mouth so often that we felt he would be a natural as the official spokesman for the waffle industry,” said Fred “Bootsy” L’Eggo, CEO of L’Eggo Waffles and President of the APPFW. “From now on, when you think waffle you think John Kerry.”
Sources close to the Kerry campaign say that the Senator is delighted with his new job, especially since for the first time in his life he actually has a real job and will no longer have to depend on his weekly allowance from his wife.
If you enjoyed this satire by William Grim, you can read more of his work at Broken Newz.
The Best Quotes From Mark Steyn's Last 52 Jewish World Review Columns
I've wanted to do a "best of" list of quotes from Mark Steyn for quite a while, but the "one man global content provider" spreads his columns around in newspapers all around the world. One day he's getting published in Canada, the next in Britain, then in Israel -- and there's no handy dandy archive for all of his columns.
But luckily, Jewish World Review has a quite a collection of Steyn's work. It may not be complete, but beggars can't be choosers can they? In any case, I think you'll enjoy these quotes from Steyn...(Cont)
