Vacation: I know, I know, here we are at the beginning of war, possibly hours away from a devastating "shock and awe" attack on Baghdad and I'm heading to the beach. That means no more updates today and no news or posts tomorrow. I'd love to hang around, but I need the time off and I've had this planned for weeks. Besides, there is going to be plenty of uniquely annoying coverage on Cable anyway this week-end that'll go like so...

FoxNews: Air raid sirens have been heard in Baghdad! Let's go the footage! (Photo of a building with nothing happening -- air raid siren in background) Here is our man on the scene in Baghdad!

Man on the Scene: I can confirm that there are air raid sirens going off in Baghdad right now. We don't know why, we haven't even heard any rumors, but we're here, now, in Baghdad and there are air raid sirens going off!

FoxNews: That's right folks, there are raid sirens going off in Baghdad. Let's hear what our sister network in Britain has to say about this.

Sky News: Well, we can confirm that there are air raid sirens going off in Baghdad. We don't know why yet, it could be an attack or another false alarm.

FoxNews: Fascinating! Well let's go a former general who will also have no idea why there are air raid sirens going off in Baghdad and get his opinion about what's going on.

Anyway, while you're burning out on war news, I'll be unwinding at the beach. I will log in late tonight and post an already prepared list of websites in the daily news section that you can hit while I'm gone.

Have a great week-end, I'll see you on Monday!

I'll Laugh My *ss Off For Everyone Of Them That Comes Home In A Black Bag: Last night as we were launching missiles at "targets of opportunity", most people were probably wondering about whether we got Hussein or one of his kids. But me? I was wondering what sort of idiotic comments the anarchists at Raise The Fist! would make on the eve of war. Well, I took the time to find out and it wasn't pretty. Here are some of the more repulsive posts ran across....

Tapeworm: That simply furthers my hatred for the US military. The only soldiers I feel sympathy for is a soldier who is drafted or a soldier who actually fights for a just cause. Someone who readily enlist is saying they know they can die. So f*ck the troops. F*ck them to hell. I'll laugh my *ss off for everyone of them that comes home in a black bag. May the US and Iraqi military destroy eachother. It only saddens me that civilians have to get caught in this. F*ck the troops.

C*HE: now its 20:01 im sitting in my room in israel and those f*ckers on cnn are saying that we are hours from the american attack on iraq if america attacks iraq iraq will attack israel with cemical weapons and alot of people can die in israel and iraq i mean civilians and american troops and for what OIL so if im not dead in a feiu houers you can chek on me on my icq 170863***! p.s MR.BUSH you stupid motherf*cker you *sslicking c*ck sucking *sswhole you hillbilly f*ck i want to kill you i will get a barret anti tank sniper rifle and blow your stupid head off at first i wanted to blow your brains owt but i didnt find any!!!!!!!

anonymous: I think its time all the american people starting getting organized. Instead of all these protests and brakeaway marches and talks of actions, its time we need to take action. A peoples army needs to be organized, a revolution needs to take place, we cant let our government rape our country any longer. I'm sick of the lies, the greed, the censorship, the wars, the propoganda.

With the coming of the Iraq war its time the peoples army opens a new front, the first war on american soil since the civil war. We cant let this go on for longer, bush must be removed from power, the government must be destroyed. its time for the people to wake up and see whats goin on, and its time to organize. We can come together as one, we are and always will be better than our government, and would could outsmart and outgun it any day. Its time to Unite. Its time to end the corruption.

Hmmm: I actually feel really bad for American soldiers in Iraq. I feel bad for their ignorance and stupidity for joining the military in the first place. They are blinded. It is not their fault that they are so brainwashed. So actually, what do I care if they all get blown up by Iraquis? It's just less jarheads in the world...less stupidity in the gene pool. Obviously I don't want anyone to die, but if anyone does die over there, I will not mourn.

Support Our Troops: War with Iraq appears to be imminent and it looks like the men and women in our armed forces will soon be going into combat. They're going to be putting their lives on the line to protect our country and to liberate the Iraqi people and some of them won't be coming home.

Well, I want to give RWN's readers a chance to let our troops (& the British troops) know that we appreciate what they're doing. At first, I was just going to link to the post Scrappleface put up for this purpose.

However, I changed my mind after I read the following in a post about a pro-America rally on North Georgia Dogma...

"Cindy Ralston of Hiram wore a T-shirt that read, "I'm a military mom and proud of it." Her 20-year-old son is an Army Ranger. She didn't want to give his name or location, fearing for his safety.

"As a mother, that just broke my heart," Ralston said."

After reading that, I figured "why should we just have one blog letting our troops know that we back them?" I'm proud of everything we're doing in Iraq, I'm proud of our troops, and I support them 100%. If you feel the same way, feels free to say so in the comments section of this post. We have plenty of readers who are in the military and hopefully they'll help us get the word out to their colleagues who need to see this. Just to make sure we get plenty of posts, this will remain near the top of the page all week long.

Last but not least, let me echo what Scott Ott said on Scrappleface...

"[Note: If you are opposed to U.S. military action in Iraq or elsewhere, you are welcome to post a comment under a relevant story, but please leave this comment section to those who want to offer support, encouragement, love and prayers to our troops.]"

***Update***: I have given Michele Catalano of A Small Victory permission to send out a copy of all these comments in each CD sent to our soldiers through Troop Trax CD. Here's a little more info on Troop Trax for those of you that haven't heard about it...

"Operation TROOPtrax is a project started to send music to our troops in the Middle East.

Through PayPal and Amazon donations, I will be collecting money to purchase used cds for the troops. The packages will also include other donated items such as current issues of magazine, comic books and batteries."

Thanks for helping us get the word out Michele!

***Update***: Since I put this original post up early Monday morning, the Aussies have come through with 2000 troops -- some of whom are already at work in Iraq. Since they're putting their soldiers on the line with us, I thought I should mention them as well.

The Masonic Secret Government's Latest Weapon: RWN has searched far and wide to find info on the latest weaponry that our Masonic secret government agency overlords are going to use against the helpless people of Iraq. While I can't confirm that W. will use any "Neuro-Electromagnetic Frequency Weapons" in the coming attempt to snatch the Iraqi controlled stargate, it wouldn't surprise me.

According to the crazy people brave dissenters at Project Freedom...

"The use of frequency weapons upon humans toward behavioural control and murder is not new. For well over 50 years, Neuro-Electromagnetic Frequency Weapons have been perfected by their covert use in warfare.

...Presently, countless thousands of individuals, from all walks of life, are claiming that they have become targets of assault and attempted murder by our Masonic secret government agencies and police hierarchy via the use of these weapons."

Here are just some of the effects of these devastating weapons...

So if you notice Jimmy Carter's eyelids becoming transparent or Jacques Chirac "clacking his teeth", you'll know who's responsible.

You may also want to look at a full body chart that covers all of the effects of "Neuro-Electromagnetic Frequency Weapons," some of which include forced orgasm, irresistible "go here, go there" commands, and forced nudging of the arm "during delicate or messy work".

These kooks fine fellows are also very concerned about the "global satanic child abuse network" run by the Illuminati as well as the "core of rape" which apparently has something or another to do with their insanity our intelligence agencies.

All I can say is -- no blood for Masonic secret government agencies & their global satanic child abuse networks!!!

In My World: Rumsfeld Vows Frog-A-Cide By Frank J: "Can we start bombing them now?" Rumsfeld asked impatiently.

"No, we still have to wait just a little bit more," Condoleezza Rice answered.

"If it weren't for that sissy little Texan," Rumsfeld declared angrily, "I could of demolished Iraq long ago, along with North Korea and most of Europe."

"The press," Rice reminded him, pointing to the reporters standing before them and cowering in fear.

"Ask your questions quickly," Rumsfeld commanded them, "As soon as this war starts, I'm lobbying to have you all killed as a precautionary matter."

"What is your reaction to France saying they may help the U.S. if there is a chemical attack?"

"That's simply not enough to keep me from personally murdering all Frenchmen. They have shown no faith to the U.S., and the will pay with their blood."

"Are you really going to kill them all?" asked a reporter in disbelief.

"Yes, total frog-a-cide." He then stared the reporter in the eye. "Do you doubt that I can?"

"No, sir, no," the reporter answered, trying to back away.

"They'll probably surrender on sight of seeing an angry American," Rumsfeld explained, "I'll then strangle them with their White Flags."

"When will this occur?"

"Sometime after we demolish Iraq. I plan to put Saddam's head on a pole and then use it as a cudgel against Chirac."

"On account of your hatred of the French, are you in support of the renaming of french fries and french toast to 'freedom fries' and 'freedom toast'?"

Rumsfeld shrugged his shoulders. "I only eat meat." He then turned to Rice. "His question wasted my time. Teach him through pain."

Rice operated a remote control and the reporter fell to the ground twitching. "I forgot to mention to you all," Rice said, "I had pain inducers surgically implanted in all of you."

"When did you do that?" asked a worried reporter.

Rice smiled. "That's classified."

"But that's against the law!" another reporter protested.

"I AM ABOVE THE LAW!" Rice screamed, shocking who dared question her.

"Anymore questions?" Rumsfeld asked, "Or do all fully understand that Iraq and France will soon be destroyed?"

"What about the Iraqi children?" screeched Helen Thomas, who had somehow wandered into Rumsfeld's press conference.

"The Iraqi children will die and so will you!" Rumsfeld yelled in full rage as he whipped out his luger and started firing at her. Thomas ran out of the pressroom, cackling all the way.

"She's quicker than she looks," Rumsfeld said mournfully as he reholstered his gun.

"You'll get her one day," Rice assured him, patting him on the shoulder.

"We're really scared now," said one reporter, "Can we go now?"

"Yes, flee in terror," Rumsfeld told them, and they quickly complied.

A French diplomat was scheduled to respond to Rumsfeld's remarks, but was found murdered, seemingly yet another victim of the "Rumsfeld Strangler." D.C. police aren't sure, though, since the note left at the scene was written in some sort of crazy monkey language, reading, "Je suis Donald Rumsfeld. J'ai étranglé cet homme." Authorities say that if you have any information that could lead to the whereabouts of the Rumsfeld Strangler, keep it to yourself so he doesn't strangle you.

If you liked this satire by Frank J, you can read more of his work on IMAO.

The Problem With Land For Peace: I haven't talked a lot about the Israeli/Palestinian conflict lately. However, since the "Roadmap to Peace" is back in the news, I thought the issue deserved a bit more attention. There are a lot of people who believe that if the Palestinians are given a state, then there will be peace. I believe that is exactly backwards. Let me explain why I am of that opinion.

Let's us say that the US really leaned on the Israelis and got a sweet deal for the Palestinians. Let's assume that the Palestinians get their own completely autonomous state, that all the Israeli settlements are moved out of this new nation, and that the United States and Europe pour tens of billions of dollars worth of aid into Palestine. If we're talking about the real world and not Utopian fantasies, that's about as good as it's going to get, right?

The problem is that even if that "dream scenario" were to happen, there would still be major issues that would have to be addressed. For example, what do you do about the 3.7 - 6 million (the numbers vary) Palestinians who claim the "Right of Return"? The Palestinians absolutely insist on taking them in while the Israelis believe (quite correctly I might add) it would be suicide to allow that many hostile Palestinians into their country.

Then there are terrorist groups like Islamic Jihad and Hamas that have said they intend to drive Israel into the sea no matter what happens with Palestinian statehood. There's not one iota of evidence that the Palestinian people have the will or even the desire to go after these terrorist groups, whether the Palestinians get a state or not. To the contrary, these terrorist groups are widely admired by much of the population. Moreover, in poll after poll (Adobe Acrobat), the majority of Palestinians say that they approve of the terrorist's methods. These same polls usually show that roughly half the Palestinian people do not believe that Israel is a legitimate state that has a right to exist. That opinion is shared by most of Israel's neighbors and it's no coincidence that the only two nations that have peace treaties with Israel (Egypt & Jordan) also get hefty amounts of US aid every year.

So in essence, giving the Palestinians a state only addresses one side of the issue. Yes, the Palestinians can get their "land" to form a state. But, how are the Israelis going to get their "peace"? If the Palestinians get their state and yet the terrorist attacks continue -- then what? Suppose the Palestinians immediately start destroying Jewish holy sites on their land? What if Syria and Iran continue to support terrorists who take aim at Israel? Might the Palestinians allow armies from neighboring countries to come into the heart of their territory and set up shop? If you consider the Naziesque level of hatred for Jews in the region (and that's not an exaggeration), you have to realize that those are LIKELY scenarios.

So then Israel would have to deal with the whole situation much as they do today. Then most of the world would condemn Israel and not the Palestinians, and the Israelis would be right back to where they started except that they would have given up a lot of land and received nothing in return. That's why the Israelis have no interest in giving the Palestinians a State. Can you blame them?

That was a loaded question because I know some of you do indeed blame them. That's fine, you can blame the Israelis if you want. But, if you want a real world solution to this issue, there is going to have to be something put on the table that guarantees Israel's security just as surely as it guarantees a State for the Palestinians. Quite frankly, there's nothing like that on the horizon right now and so I have little hope for the "peace process" -- such as it is -- in the near future.

Juan Gato's Handy Dandy Translation Guide For Anti-War Protestors: Thanks to the inimitable Juan Gato for punching up this little translation guide that allows the rest of us to understand what the hippies, peaceniks, & Euro-weenies in the anti-war movement mean when they say things...

Nuance: Opposition to United States policy. Often expressed in simplistic terms.

Peace: The complete lack of action from the United States no matter how many must suffer or die.

Dissent: Wearing costumes.

Crushing of Dissent/McCarthyism: Publicly disagreeing with someone more noble. Publicly pointing out flaws in the arguments of those more noble.

Censorship: Only appearing on TV 5 times a week instead of the full 7.

Days of Action: Movie where Tom Cruise met Nicole Kidman.

Facts: Things that get in the way of Truth.

Truth: Something that must be believed regardless of facts. Example: 5,000 civilians were killed in Afghanistan. Did not actually happen, but the US wanted to kill that many and more so that means it is truth.

Racism: Thinking non-whites shouldn't have to live under oppressive, murderous tyrants.

Solidarity: Public nudity to tell those who would be stoned for public nudity that, hey, we care because we're naked.

Multilateral: Doing what the French want.

Unilateral: Going forward without the support of the New York Times.

Oil: When it ain't the Jews, it's this.

Militant: Anyone who kills a member of the oppressive power structure.

Tony Blair's 3/18/03 Speech To The House Of Commons On The Eve Of War With Iraq: Tony Blair's speech yesterday was so magnificent and compelling that I thought it deserved to make it into RWN's speech archives. Here are a few quotes from the speech...

-- "What would any tyrannical regime possessing WMD think viewing the history of the world's diplomatic dance with Saddam? That our capacity to pass firm resolutions is only matched by our feebleness in implementing them. That is why this indulgence has to stop. Because it is dangerous. It is dangerous if such regimes disbelieve us."

-- "Listen to this editorial - from a paper I'm pleased to say with a different position today - but written in late 1938 after Munich when by now, you would have thought the world was tumultuous in its desire to act.

"Be glad in your hearts. Give thanks to your God. People of Britain, your children are safe. Your husbands and your sons will not march to war. Peace is a victory for all mankind. And now let us go back to our own affairs. We have had enough of those menaces, conjured up from the continent to confuse us."

-- "We take our freedom for granted. But imagine not to be able to speak or discuss or debate or even question the society you live in. To see friends and family taken away and never daring to complain. To suffer the humility of failing courage in face of pitiless terror. That is how the Iraqi people live. Leave Saddam in place and that is how they will continue to live."

It's worth your time to read the entire speech...

Do You Want To See The Type Of People Bush Has To Deal With?: Forgive me, but I've had just about enough of the incredibly cynical "pie in the sky idealist" act the governments that aren't supporting us in Europe are putting on. This comment from Norway's Prime Minister, Kjell Magne Bondevik today was the last straw...

"There is no so-called smoking gun, but we know that they (Iraq) have had such weapons. Iraq has not given a good answer as to how or when they were destroyed. So there are grounds for suspicion, but proof is lacking."

Meanwhile across the web, we see....

-- Iraq Arming Troops With Chemical Weapons
-- We will gas you when US bombs fall, Kurds told
-- Chemical response expected to U.S. Operation Iraqi Freedom

I mean, if you're Colin Powell or Donald Rumsfeld, how do you even hold a serious conversation with someone like Bondevik? Moreover, how do you pretend to take a guy like Hans Blix seriously? Here we are on the brink of war and he's giving interviews to MTV and saying that,

"To me the question of the environment is more ominous than that of peace and war. We will have regional conflicts and use of force, but world conflicts I do not believe will happen any longer. But the environment, that is a creeping danger. I'm more worried about global warming than I am of any major military conflict."

Oh I see, the UN's head weapons inspector is more worried about the environment than peace and war. That gives you a lot of confidence doesn't it? Moreover, Hans doesn't think the Iraqis would ever use chemical weapons anyway because...

"World public opinion, which they study quite a lot, is feeling in large measure that going to war is too early. That skepticism would turn immediately around if they used chemical or biological weapons."

Hey Hans, we're past the point where Saddam has to continue to impress gullible Europeans. It's "game over" for Saddam if he loses -- so what does he care about "world public opinion?"

Then there's Jacques Chirac and the French. Today, their spokesman Jean-David Levitte said...

"If the war starts and if (President) Saddam Hussein uses chemical or biological weapons, it would change completely the situation for the French president and for the French government, and President (Jacques) Chirac will have to decide what we will do to help the American troops to confront this new situation.

"But I confirm it would change completely the perception and the situation for us," said Jean-David Levitte, who told CNN he hoped that biological and chemical weapons would not be used."

So France spent months denying that there was a "smoking gun," betrayed us at every opportunity, and tried to turn the whole world against us and now the French want to "help" if Saddam uses WMD? On behalf of the American people, let me respond to France's generous offer of "help" by saying "drop dead".

It's like these people live in some sort of alternate universe that reality never intrudes upon. No wonder Bush stopped paying attention to them. "Oh, but John, we have to pay attention to them or they won't like us."

Well, I'm all for trying to getting along with other nations. But on the other hand, I'm sick and tired of seeing our country bend over backwards to help nations that don't appreciate it. We've spent 60 years feeding half the world, giving away billions every year, and fighting Nazis and the Soviets -- and for what? So a bunch of spoiled, snotty, brats and peaceniks in nations we protect can hold protest against us and call us Nazis? So condescending European diplomats and leaders who believe we're living in a utopian world can sneer at us and declare that we shouldn't be allowed to go after threats to our own country?

That's fine -- they can do that if they want. But, I'd suggest they read what Tony Parsons had to say in his column yesterday...

"I HOPE that the continent of Europe never again needs help from the United States of America.

Because if that black day ever comes, I have the feeling that America might just tell Europe where to go."

Parsons has it almost right. We will remember the nations who stuck with us when we needed help and we'll be there if they call. But as for the rest of our "allies" in name only who didn't support America in her time of need? They can go straight to hell.

Remember Where You Stood Before The War Started: Many of our fellow citizens tend to have very short memories so I thought it was worth reminding people of a few things before we go into Iraq.

-- When we find WMD -- and we will -- I want you to remember all the people in the anti-war crowd who spent the last year claiming that there was no proof that Saddam had any weapons of mass destruction.

-- When we go into Iraq backed by one of the largest coalitions ever put together, remember all the people in the anti-war crowd who said we were "going it alone" or that we were being "unilateral."

-- When all sorts of connections between terrorist groups and Saddam start to come out -- and they will -- remember all the people in the anti-war crowd who said there was no evidence that Iraq had any terrorist ties.

-- When we help rebuild Iraq and start laying out a roadmap to Democracy over there, I want you to remember all the people in the anti-war crowd who called Bush a Nazi, Fascist, or imperialist.

-- Most importantly, when Saddam is gone and the Iraqi people are liberated, I want you to remember all the people in the anti-war crowd who claimed to speak for the Iraqi people and yet did everything they could to help keep Saddam in power. When you hear Iraqis cheering Saddam's downfall & talking about the horrors of Saddam's regime, I want you to remember the people who didn't want to see George Bush get rid of Saddam.

Some of those people & nations include: the majority of the Democrats in the House who voted against giving the President authorization to use force in Iraq, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Al Gore, Robert Byrd, Ted Kennedy, Bob Graham, France, Germany, Belgium, Canada, Mexico, the majority of the United Nations Security Council, Nelson Mandela & a seemingly endless stream of annoying celebrities.

Last but not least, when this is all over just remember which group was on the right side of history.

Saddam -- Undead Despot?: The Globe and Mail has interviewed a crackpot Iraqi doctor who has a rather odd theory about Saddam Hussein...

"About 10 years ago, I became interested in the link between physical traits and personality," he said. "I began to study Saddam Hussein but when I looked at his ears in photographs I saw something very strange. They were different." Using a mixture of dentistry, palmistry and Chinese-style face reading, Mr. al-Essadi says he can say with scientific certainty what many others have suggested before: that Mr. Hussein uses at least three body doubles, who are chosen at apparent random to fulfill presidential duties ranging from television appearances to meetings with foreign dignitaries. If true, it poses a tricky set of questions for those who would seek to capture, kill or exile the Iraqi President. How would they know they had the real Saddam Hussein?

"I believe he is dead," Mr. al-Essadi said. "I have seen secret documents that say he was diagnosed with lymphatic cancer in 1998 and given six months to live." Mr. Hussein's first wife has left him and returned to her first husband, Mr. al-Essadi added, which "would never happen if Saddam was alive."

Of course, if Saddam is dead -- then who is running the show in Iraq? Could Saddam have an evil twin or is a Raelian clone actually in charge? Maybe Saddam's kids are running a "Weekend At Bernies" style prank on everyone...

...or perhaps we must consider the most chilling possibility of all: that Saddam did die in 1998 and that he has returned from the dead as a blood sucking vampire despot!!!! If that were the case, could our troops be preparing to face an undead army of indestructable vampire warriors who are impervious to our weapons and hungry for the blood of Americans?

Ehr...no & I can't believe the Globe and Mail interviewed that guy and presented him as some kind of an expert.

What Is Freedom For The Iraqi People Worth?: I'm not going to try to snow you and pretend that the primary reason I favor an invasion of Iraq is because I want to see the Iraqi people liberated. To the contrary, the principal reason I want to see us remove Saddam is because I believe that is one of things we have to do to win the war on terrorism.

However, if I were chiefly concerned about the welfare of the Iraqi people, I would be even more hawkish than I am now. I say that although I know that Iraqi civilians are going to die in the coming war. Between Saddam's last murderous strikes at his own people & collateral damage from our missiles, thousands of Iraqi civilians may die in the next few weeks.

But, how many are going to die if we do nothing? How many ordinary Iraqis would Saddam deliberately starve to death? How many innocent people would disappear into Saddam's prisons never to be seen again? What if we went all the way and left the no-fly zones and removed the sanctions? We can't keep them indefinitely you know. How many tens of thousands of Kurds would Saddam eradicate? Then how many people would die when he inevitably invaded another nation? (Cont)

War With Iraq? It's All About The Stargate!: According to some nut named Michael E. Salla who claims to be a college professor (I really, really, hope he just made that up) -- Iraq is all about the Stargate. I think the abstract pretty much sums it up...

"Most, if not all, criticisms of the Bush administration's motivation for launching a preemptive war on Iraq focus on a combination of the imperial world views of conservative politicians in power in Washington, D.C., and the corporate interests that drive the political agenda of the Bush administration. This study will provide a radically different political analysis of the Bush administration's motivation for going war, and of the explanations offered by his critics. This study provides an exopolitical analysis of the policy dimensions of an historic extraterrestrial presence that is pertinent to Iraq and a US led preemptive attack. It will be argued that competing clandestine government organizations are struggling through proxy means to take control of ancient extraterrestrial (ET) technology that exists in Iraq, in order to prepare for an impending series of events corresponding to the 'prophesied return' of an advanced race of ETs. The Columbia Space Shuttle may well have been a high profile victim of such a proxy war intended to send a message to US based clandestine organizations over the preemptive war against Iraq."

Here are are another couple of quotes to help get across how crazy this guy is...

"If there is a Stargate existing in Southern Iraq that will play a role in such a 'prophesied return of the gods', then it is most likely that clandestine government organizations that greatly influence or control the Bush administration, are aware of the existence and the role of this Stargate. Iraq's President Hussein is most likely also aware of such a Stargate's existence as might be inferred by his architectural projects intent on reviving the grandeur of early Mesopotamian civilizations, and cementing his place as the restorer of Iraq's past glory."

"On the part of Hussein Regime, control of the Stargate would allow him to activate it and to fulfill prophesy by facilitating the return of an advanced race of ETs, the elite Anunnaki. President Hussein probably imagines that in return for his loyalty to the elite Anunnaki, he would be rewarded with a position of great global authority. Perhaps he would even see himself as some kind of human savior facilitating the return of the gods who would solve all of humanity's problem, and end the rule of clandestine government organizations perpetuating non-disclosure of the ET presence."

Not only is this guy stark, raving insane, but he's boring to boot. If he really is a college professor, could you imagine being in his class? After listening to him drone on for ten to fifteen minutes about Mayans, stargates, & Anunnaki you'd fall asleep and then...

Professor Salla: Mr. Hawkins -- are you sleeping in my class?!?!

Student Hawkins: No sir, I was just thinking about some of the concepts you were discussing sir...

Professor Salla: I see -- in that case, can you tell the class who George Washington was?

Student Hawkins: George Washington -- uh, sure professor. George Washington was the Father of our Country. In the Revolutionary War he...

Professor Salla: WRONG! George Washington was an alien cyborg sent back from the past by Jacques Chirac to keep Ben Franklin from getting control of the stargate located in the Grand Canyon! You get an F!!! Get out of my class you Anunnaki spy!

In My World -- One Last Chance By Frank J.: The moment of truth has arrived at the U.N., as an informal Security Council meeting will finally decided the U.N.'s position on Iraq. If the U.N. votes for the military action, it will give further support to the U.S. war with Iraq. If the U.N. votes against attacking Iraq, it will lose its legitimacy and the U.N. building will be immediately bulldozed to the ground.

"Actions will soon be taken," President Bush announced to the press, "This is our enemy's final chance. After today, they can talk to the cruise missiles, and the cruise missiles are not good conversationalists. They are prone to constant interruptions, often brash in their language, and are poor listeners. Plus, they incinerate you."

"Are you implying that there is a chance for Iraq to avoid war if they immediately disarm now?" asked a reporter.

"Hell, no - I promised the American people stolen Iraqi oil and that's what they're going to get. What I was talking about was France. France better start shaping up or America will rain its mighty wrath upon them."

"You're really angry enough about France's behavior to attack them?"

"Yes we are. We renamed the french fries and french toast in the cafeteria to "freedom toast" and "freedom fries" since anything with "french" as part of the name will cause someone to vomit. We've also now made it part of all sporting events that, after our national anthem is played, a French flag is burned. Then a French tourist is publicly beaten."

President Jaques Chirac appeared unintimidated. "Silly Americans, you cannot harm the great and mighty France," he announced to the press, "We will veto your war and then America will crumble since it no longer has the support of the true powerhouse in this world: the U.N. Then Saddam and I will find Dick Cheney's undisclosed location and defeat America from the inside. When America is gone, Saddam and I shall rule together, plunging the world into tyranny and rudeness." Chirac then laughed evilly and effeminately until a squirrel ran by. Then he ducked behind his podium and started crying.

If you like this satire by Frank J., you can read more of his work at IMAO.

The Latest Pro-Saddam Rallies: There were more anti-war rallies this week-end which of course are in effect pro-Saddam rallies. As you can see by the pic to your left from the San Francisco rally, this is a "war for the rich." Yeah, because terrorists only murder the rich. The poor and middle-class have nothing to fear except maybe the communist/anarchist pirates at the DC rally....

Yarr mateys! Down with McDonald's and AOL! Up with a centralized economy, biting poverty, & gulags! Find Alan Greenspan and make him walk the plank!

Do you ever wonder how these "anti-war protests" have gotten a reputation for being unpatriotic? Well, signs like this are part of the reason why. San Francisco's Indy Media Site was so proud of this sign that they put it on their front page.

Here's another protestor (who'd undoubtedly be horribly offended if you questioned his patriotism) at the DC rally showing what he thinks of the Pledge of Allegiance and of our country.

I'm sure Saddam appreciates this and if he wasn't so busy finding a good spot to hide before we get there, he'd probably send out another message congratulating all of the "anti-war" protestors for standing up for him.

RWN's Favorite Success Quotes: I graduated from college with a Psych major & a Communications minor. Back in those days, I went through a lot of books -- many of them on pop psychology and communications. However, I eventually got to a point where I felt like I was reading the same book over and over. In fact, although I probably read 100+ books of that type, there were only 10-15 that ever stood out (I'll post a list of those books sometime). However, through reading those books, I did manage to compile quite a large list of "success quotes" over the years -- many of which, you're about to see. Perhaps you'll find them to be of use...