* The type of life you have is created by the choices you’ve made. Either accept the consequences of your choices or change your choices
* Men have a natural urge to tame the wild, spoil the pure, and asset dominance over their environment.
* When human beings have difficult work to do, all too often they opt for pleasant, but meaningless distractions instead.
* One of the great difficulties in getting expert advice is that everybody thinks they’re an expert these days
* You can usually tell how hot a woman THINKS she is by how many pics of herself she has up on Facebook. Lots =’s hot.
* Sometimes the best way to get more done is to schedule less, so you will have more free time to do what’s important.
* College isn’t really about learning anything anymore. It’s something you do to show people you have some smarts & hustle.
* This would be a much better world if it were easier to get away with punching people who deserve it in the mouth.
* More people use LinkedIn than Twitter? Holy crap. Nobody even knows WHY they’re on LinkedIn.
* If you’re scandalized by the idea that a Christian feels led by God to do something, you don’t understand Christianity.
* Headline: “Michelle Obama: ‘I want to embrace the country that I love’…” | First thought: Wonder which country it is?
* One of the weird tics of liberalism is the desire to emulate failures: Socialized medicine, high speed trains, socialism.
* We’ll need a real plan to beat Obama in 2012! Let’s talk and… | Trump: Let’s do this! Leeroy Jenkins!
* If the global warming fight is like the civil rights movement, then Al Gore & company are the guys w/the dogs & hoods
* Want to really hurt the people who are on Medicare? Then do nothing at all until we have to slash it after we go bankrupt
* Sarah Palin hasn’t “exploited” Trig in any way that Obama hasn’t “exploited” Sasha and Malia.
* Liberal “thinking?” Someone disagrees w/ Obama? RACISM! Someone criticizes a liberal? RACISM! It rained today? RACISM!
* Black Americans have been allied with the Democrats for 50 years. It has worked out great for the Dems. Can black Americans say the same?
* If the word “devastated” can ever be fairly applied to me over the cancellation of a TV show, please punch me hard.
* Yoga is a great way to teach you that your belief that you are more flexible than the average person isn’t even close to reality
* Royal weddings may be the one thing that’s even more boring than soccer.
* The Snuggy: A product for people who find blankets to be excessively complicated
* Movies that say “inspired by true events” always seem a lil shady. “Revenge of the Yeti Ninjas! Inspired by true events!”
* Helpful hint: Out of amnesia, there’s pretty much no time when you can say, “Do you know who I am?” to someone and not sound like an ass.
* One of the downsides of being Napoleon or Alexander must be dealing with all time travelers who want to meet you.